Sh*t Hayden Says #263

You know that day we just had that was damn near +40?  I got home from work, everyone was cranky and miserable so Robert and I decided to take everyone to a movie and have popcorn for supper.  Yesss!

On the way home we decided to stop at Superstore to stock up on snacks.  We were low on everything.

The theatre was only remotely cooler than our house so aside from the entertainment it wasn't that much better.  And I think most of you know of my Superstore Outburst of 2012.  So we were all lazy and feeling crummy and I didn't want to brave the hell that is Superstore by myself so I made everyone come with me to bask in my misery.

Turns out we should have just hung out in the freezer section for a couple of hours!  It was great!

As we were on our way out we came to an intersection with a very lady like transvestite.  Honestly, she made me feel like a man.  She walked better than me, had better posture, and had a calm and delightful look upon her face while browsing the aisles.  The only thing she missed was her midnight shadow.  I think she forgot to shave her face which may be equivalent to me forgetting to shave my legs?  An honest and soon to be hilarious mistake.

I knew what was coming in my head.  In an instant I had the whole thing pictured.  Beginning to end.

I already had my bitchy line of "Excuse for not teaching my six year old about trannies just yet!"  (Totally inappropriate and I'm so glad it didn't come to that but nobody be messin' with my kids girlfriend!)

Robert and I noticed and kept moving along...really who cares.  Hayden was a different story.  Hayden stopped dead in his tracks.  The look of complete bewilderment came over his face...jaw hanging and everything.  I prepared myself for the worst when he inserted his popsicle (yes I feed my kids food before I buy it..it's about survival people!) back into his mouth and moved on.

Phewff!!  Thank goodness!!  In the clear.

Hayden wasn't right though for the rest of the night.  Unusually quiet, not interested in playing.  Just seemed as though he was pondering.  I thought that today would be the day I had to explain this.  Totally off guard.  No idea what to say or how to explain it other than "to each their own" and "does not affect my life in anyway".  Which we all know that to a six year old loaded with questions these answers would not cut it.

The dreaded bed time came...the time when kids want to talk.  Hayden got all into his pj's and went to brush his teeth.  I was waiting for him in his room...prepping for some sort of discussion.

Hayden burst out of the bathroom, hitting the door on the wall behind him.  Ran into his room, jumped onto the bed, smacked me and yelled "Oh my god mom!  That man wants a Regina!!"

Thank Goodness he figured it out!!  

My only reply that night was "Don't say Oh my god...and yes...you're right."

Buy ALL the shoes!!

So I have been wondering where to buy Sanuks for kids and found them at Escape!!  Thanks for the tip Carey!!  Great customer service too!!  Three kids and an adult were hooked up in 15 minutes.  Everyone got what they wanted and no tears!!  The staff even seemed to enjoy it :)

Kids shoes are something I spend money on too.  There is a huge difference between how Walmart or Joe shoes pan out versus the name brands.

We got home and I realized that I cannot walk into my narrow front hallway because of all the shoes.  So I decided to give some away!!  The pile wasn't nearly as big as I was hoping it would be though...

Here's the thing...
The kids each have 1 pair of active outdoor shoes for every season and 1 pair of casual outdoor shoes for every season.  Plus a pair of dress shoes, and a pair of indoor shoes for school.

That is 12 pairs of shoes right there!

Will is the exception because he is new and shiny so he has so many shoes I don't even bother thinking about it!  Let's say he has 9 pairs of shoes just from the ones I can think of right now.

So we're at 17 pairs of shoes.

Then there are the shoes for Robert and I.  Adults have WAY more occasions that call for different shoes.  There are probably 10 pairs for both of us.

So now we're at 27 pairs of shoes sitting in my front entrance!!  That I can't get rid of yet!!  Normal??!!
Anyone??!!

Please someone make me feel better...

I do have a reno planned to help our narrow, long front entrance but not until fall when we aren't so busy outside ;)

You asked for it!! How to Get Compliments Grocery Shopping Part 1

One of the biggest things we have learned this year is that it is easy to blow the budget on food with a family of 5.  There really is no room for error or poor planning.

Being lazy costs $$.  Not planning ahead costs $$ too.  Having to run out for supper with 5 costs a minimum of $40 for McDick's.  If we want a decent meal where we can sit quietly and not listen to mayhem (we're demanding I know) it is about $60...just to sit!  Nothing special about this meal.

$40 to $100 may not seem like much for some to spend on a whim BUT I would rather spend that on a date night, or a couple decent pairs of shoes for the kids, or any form of entertainment that will last longer than 45min. Because we eat and run!  For us and for those sitting around us...

This is why I have become a prostar at the grocery planning.  In order to show people how I do it I have to plan ahead and track my spending.  I'll take a months worth of shopping trips and show receipts!

But in order to prep for that here are my own house rules for food!

1)  No snacks that come in crinkly packages...this sucks more for me than the kids.  I try to bake 2-3 snacks a week.  The only crinkly packages in my cupboards are soup crackers, raisins, nuts, and tuna.

2) I make all my own sauces and condiments.  It's really easier than it sounds!

3)  My cupboards are fully stocked with spices, stocks (in case I have run out of my own), and baking supplies.

4)  Be wary of "house brands".  These are not always cheaper.  Safeway is really good for showing how much you are paying per 100 grams on their prices.  I rarely buy house brands.

5) Contrary to #4 sometimes house brands are cheaper.  And I buy it.  Let's face it.  Crap is crap.  And if my kids are dying for some KD crap...I'd rather pay .48 cents for crap than $1 for the "better" crap.

6)  I try my hardest to go grocery shopping with the smallest number of kids possible.  Kids are a distraction and it is easy to break focus and just buy all the things and not look at prices!  And then buy yourself all the things to make yourself feel better because your kids are driving you insane.  This is what causes me to break the budget many times in the past.  No matter how badly your kids are behaving...you do not deserve a new dress.

7)  I watch flyers.  Sometimes Costco is cheaper, sometimes Superstore is cheaper, sometimes Walmart is cheaper...sometimes Shoppers!  Watch out.  I would thought I could coupon but that takes time.  And I watched one episode of Extreme Couponing and almost died of a heart attack at the extreme hoarding going on!

8) Beware of Super Centres that have it all.  It is easy to blow the budget on a good deal that isn't food!

People say they can't afford Safeway or Co-op but it is a lot easier to stay on budget when there is no other option at the store that isn't food.

9)  For fun snacks my kids get to pick out two fruits and two vegetables that they haven't tried before.  Sounds lame but kids really just like to have some control in their opinions and choices.  Who doesn't?  And they have come home with some cool stuff.  

10)  If it is out of the budget, I don't buy it.  It will just have to wait for next week.  Or figure out a cheaper option.

11)  A little more time (and I mean seconds) can save you at least half!  Yep.  Sliced bread doubles the cost of a loaf.  I can buy 4 loaves of whole wheat unsliced bread for $3.  It stays fresh longer and tastes better.  This rule applies to many other things.

12) Meal Planning is an absolute must.

13) Do a cupboard inventory every week to see what you have leftover that could be turned into a possible meal...beef up a meal on the meal plan...and to make sure you don't end up buying double!  I have cayenne pepper to last generations :s

14) Don't be a snob.  When my "random" household items is quite long I stop at Dollarama to see what they have.  You would be surprised to see how much brand name stuff they carry.

It's summer!  I'm way less experimental during the summer...which means an even cheaper bill!  We just want to eat something and get back outside.  Or BBQ.  Lately my bill has been $100-$150 a week :)  I've even gotten a few compliments from the cashiers lately...Which means more money for stuff that I want to spend $ on.  

Irrational Fear?

It has almost been a year since I've been taking anti anxiety meds and my doctor would like to start weaning me off.  Done breast feeding, Will is sleeping better, and it's summer!  Sun makes you happy!

But I'm scared.  

I'm scared that I need medication to love my family and enjoy my life.

I'm afraid of what it will do to my psyche if I can't handle life without the medication.

I was silly and wanted to try to stop the meds "cold turkey".  That didn't go well.  I felt dizzy, nauseous, numb, and was totally fine with all hell breaking loose in my house as long as I had my little bubble to hide in.

Not good.  I should probably mention that to my doctor...but I'm afraid of the lecture of trying to stop the meds myself.  I've always thought that other people deciding to go off their meds were crazy...but I do see the appeal in wanting to feel like you have some control over your life.

I'm having anxiety over having to give up my anxiety pills.

I have 30 days of pills left and I kind of want to take one every other day so that I have 60 days before I have to think about going to the doc and coming up with a plan.

This sucks.

I clearly don't know if I want them or not.

I never thought that I would be this mom.  Didn't even cross my mind.  I knew that it ran in the family but I thought that I was stronger than that.

What does it mean if I can't function without them?

I'm jealous of all the moms that can just go out with their babies in that first year.  I remember crying at home all day, my midwife taking me for practice runs walking around the block or driving my car without Will in hopes that someday I could do it with him.  I spent 3 weeks straight inside my house.  And Robert had to really be convincing in order to get me to walk around the block.  I really don't remember much about the first 6 months at all.  Instead of cherishing the first year I just wanted it to be over.  So is that person going to come back?

I hope that Will doesn't find out what his mom was like when he was a newborn.  And that if he does that he knows how sorry I am that I wasn't strong enough.  

How come other moms can handle the first year but I can't?  I'm always so afraid that other moms will judge me and think that I'm totally incompetent or judge Will and think that he is a horrible baby...(as if there is such a thing).  When really we are told all the time that he is the happiest baby most have seen.  Argh.

Hopefully I can remember all these things when I go to the doc...

I prefer blogging about the trials of parenthood.  But this needed to be a post so that I can move on.

Happy Mother's Day....now cry.

Yep! My kids made me cry for Mother's Day. But a happy cry.

I feel so fortunate that Sage and Hayden call me "mom". When we adopted them Robert and I decided that we would not ask them to call us anything. Robert was "dad" right away. I had to wait a bit longer to be "mom". Sometimes I would be mom, or auntie, or Shauna.

It made sense. Neither of them know their birth fathers. So the opportunity to have a dad was new for them. But they already have a mommy, and a mama, and a nana, and an Auntie Shauna. I was happy with our decision to not force names upon them for Robert and I but I think I felt like it would be nice if they called me mom because I wanted to be one to them so badly.

I was patient though and waited.

I'm mom all the time now:) I got a card, some roses that Sage picked out, a cake that Hayden piced out and giggles from Will :)

I had been joking around at work on Mother's Day (after my partner bought me a yummy lunch!) that I didn't want another craft! Lol. I have stacks of pictures...I love them all but I'm sure any mom reading this understands my little funny ;)

Well I also got crafts. And these are the gifts that ironically made me cry and I love them! Hayden's is decorating my locker at work and Sage wrote a book of poems that sits proudly on display in our living room...I also took the crafts to brag at work :)

One of Sage's poems ended with "Did you know that there are babies and kids in the world without mommies or food or shelter? Did you know that I got to be adopted? Did you know that you are my mommy and I love you dearly?"

Cue tears.

Someone I Admire...how can you not ;)

May Photo Challenge Day #3

I'm a bit behind but this someone deserves a blog post and some extra admiration.

Here she is:

This is Sagelyne.  The person I admire and who I know will grow up to be an incredibly admirable woman.

She is a friend to everyone.  A great older sister.  And an awesome caregiver.

She is competitive.  Not afraid to dig around in the dirt.  And will play any sport.

At the same time she likes to play with make up and have her nails done and play with extravagant earrings.

She is beautiful with her green eyes, dirty blond hair, and tan skin....I cannot wait to slap some braces on you ;)

She is my personal trainer.  She leads the way on my couch to 5k program and encourages me the whole way.  It is a lot of fun to spend time together in the evening!

She wants to be a teacher or a "jail police" when she grows up.

This girl can do it all...really.  One of the most well rounded and down to earth girls that I have ever met.  She absolutely loves life and is excited for every new day.

She is so in tune with her emotions and speaks so well when needed.  And doesn't let anyone push her around.  She isn't afraid to go against the norm and be herself.

I am so lucky that this girl chose me.  This three year old girl asked me to be her mom one night as I was tucking her in.  "I think that God was confused because you are supposed to be my mom.  Can you keep me and stay with me forever?"

It took some time Miss S but "Yes I can".

How cosleeping (gasp!) saved me and my baby

It is no secret that Will and I struggled with breastfeeding for a whole 12 weeks. And by struggling I mean crying in searing knife stabbing pain as old scabs and puss was removed. And then having a whole hour or two (if I was lucky) before he would be hungry again. Day and night.

Nothing is worse than your tears falling on your newborn baby while you try to bond the only way that a mother and baby can...the most naturally.  But I hung in there with support from some great friends :)

Whether it be the struggles with nursing, the lack of sleep, hormones or all of the above I was finally diagnosed with PPA....finally....after months of trying to explain to people that something was wrong.

How did cosleeping tie in? LOADS!!

We had a cosleeper that attached to the side of our bed for the first 9 months. It was cosleeping that first tipped me off that Will probably notices during the day that something is wrong between us.  When we slept together we would breath at the same time, stretch at the same time, and wake at the same time. It was this connection at night that made me realize that there had to be a subconscious, physical and emotional connection during the day. We got help ASAP.

Then my doctor and midwife gave me permission to cosleep. Not that I needed it but there was always some underlying guilt lurking. Especially being a first time mom. But they told me to test my gut, and if Robert and I sleep best that way...go for it.

And so it began...our way to healing our bond. Once the searing pain ended at about 3 months my little "frequent nurser" and I got so good I hardly woke up anymore to feed him.

Sleep. My sanity was restored. Hormones were under control. And my goal of nursing my baby was met.

We still co sleep and he sleeps through the night :) At last :)

I don't know when it will end. I don't care. Both Will and I survived and if cosleeping helped with that then I'll do it as long as we need.

I really had to plea in order to get help.  Sleep and PPA are some hot topics among moms...especially the "bully moms". It wasn't easy. Trust your gut and do what you have to do. It's about you, your baby, and your family. No one else :)