A plan in the works!

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my dad?

I freaking LOVE my dad.

Anyway, once again Hayden was sent home from school early.  I had to pick him up in the principle's office yesterday :s

I took this opportunity to sit down with his teacher and the principal to talk about a stable plan for Hayden.  Our reward system is not working.

Hayden is behaving exactly the same way at school as he is at home.  Surprise!  He is extra weepy, misses his Papa, is not listening to any of the teachers at school, and is pretty much all around not following any rule lol....omg.  He is making friends, but I suspect that won't last long if this behaviour continues.

I've come to some conclusions.  I thought maybe Montessori was to blame.  I talked about this in our meeting yesterday.  But the principal reassured me that many children make the transition from Montessori to public school no problem.  They still teach respect and listening skills in Montessori.  The only difference is that the classes are usually 10 children to 1 teacher and 2 helpers and those kids are busy all the time.  Due to numbers, Hayden has to learn to deal with down time.  And his poor teacher can't handle 25 kids and 1 that is acting out.  We need to take care of that asap.

I feel much better about the choice to enroll him in Montessori now and I feel better with my feelings of not wanting him to change schools again.  Perhaps we should have considered Montessori before looking at St Peter's but it's too late now.  And I think he will benefit from having Sagelyne at the same school, and friends in his community.

Another factor is that Hayden has only lived with his Papa until now.  We changed his home and his learning environment....and he is no longer a baby but a middle child.  We basically rocked his little world!  The moodiness and testing is normal.  Sagelyne has always been shuffled and prayed for a stable home.  She is loving this.  Hayden never knew any different.

Another issue is that he is my dad's protegee (?).  Question authority, boys will be boys, Papa is the boss etc...Which is normally fine and dandy but with the change he is really abusing these qualities that we love about him.  Hayden is also extremely smart and knows how to manipulate like a Carruthers to make things work to his benefit.  Right now he is using this for evil lol.  It can be used for good.  I'll tell you the whole adoption story sometime!

The bottom line is he has been through a lot and two years from now it won't matter.

Why I love my dad....
because he will stop his entire day to leave work and come my rescue...anytime...my whole life.  He truly believes that you do anything for your children no matter what.

I called him after the meeting at school.  He came and took Hayden for a sleepover.  Dropped him off at school this morning, and met with his teacher and principal.  Brought Hayden home for lunch and we hashed out a stable plan!

First of all these kids need to talk to a psychologist.  Sage has been for years.  It has worked wonders!!  I think everyone needs to talk to someone.  And these wonderful kids have been through more than most of you...and they are happy and loving life.

Hayden will come home for lunch from school.  If he has had a poor morning he will stay home for the afternoon and have a nap...hahaha.  And if he has a good morning he can go back to school :)  Papa will also call in the morning and scare the bejesus out of him to assist in the behaviour change ;)

It's not going to be easy but it will be worth it.  Hayden and I went on a date after THE MEETING yesterday.  I was hoping he would talk to me and he did.  He said "Papa is my boss and no one else".  This will be trying.

I also took this opportunity to tell my dad that I have PPA.  He had the best reaction.  He said "if there was ever anyone to have an anxiety disorder...it would be you.  You've been a worrier all your life".  And a huge kiss and a hug.  Dad is a teddy bear.  I felt so normal and accepted :)