Sunday, March 16, 2014

Maternity Leave #2!


I was sooooo ready to be done work this time around!  I worked about 5 weeks longer than I did with Will and that was enough.  I was done at 30 weeks with Will and 35 weeks with this one.  What a huge difference that 5 weeks can make!  I felt rather self indulgent when I went off work with Will.  At first anyway….then Will was born and I realized just how important that time to myself was.  So I did it again this time :)  I strongly encourage everyone to take that extra month or two…if you can.

I have a list of things to do just like last time.  But this time it is less running around trying to gather all the last minute things for the baby because we already have it.  It is more about getting a pedicure, a manicure, getting my hair done…maybe some new soft bedsheets, pretty pyjamas etc.  More about me ;)

I've been doing a lot of thinking about how I would like this year to go by.  I know it will be fast and new and exciting.  With Will we really wanted to spend about a day after he was born as just us.  But the excitement took over and we called all the people and I was so excited I didn't sleep for about three days.  Which was wonderful!  But when battling nursing problems and the onset of PPD it probably wasn't the best idea…hindsight.

This time we would like to take that time to ourselves.  We are going to be selfish.  Just a day with our little baby and kids to snuggle and watch movies.  And gradually join the world again guilt free.  Of course we'll want to visit with everyone too and we may not be able to fight the urge!  And may not even try ;)  But I think for me it will be important to allow myself to do what I need at the time.

I think what I have learned from when Will was born is that it is about us.  No one else.  We won't be afraid to tell people that today we need a short visit, or no visiting, or I need someone here with me, or everyone come over to play and snuggle!!

Anyway, back to home life…..we are all loving me being home all the time.  Everyone is so relaxed and I really feel like I'm on top of things.  I was doing about a 55% job share and then went back full time to build up my maternity leave benefits.  It was tough with a big family at home.  Not something we plan on doing again.  Right now we are enjoying being the 5 of us and getting more and more excited to be 6!

There.  Kind of a random blog of ramblings.  But gotta get back at it to keep the family informed ;)
Time to get back to spoiling myself and my kids!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013


Thanks for the name Ryan!  It is very fitting this time around!

This little one is just over halfway here and I have barely noticed a thing now that the sickness and weight gain have slowed.  My initial tip off that we may be having another was the quick 10 lbs that came and would not disappear...and then the sickness kicked in.  Luckily the midwife (Ros again!) was right and the weight gain has slowed and the sickness has slowly disappeared. 

The first half flew by!  You are coming into a very busy house!  No one sits ever and we often employ the grandparents on a daily basis.  But it is fun, exciting, noisy, and there is always something (if not multiple things) on the go.  You will be entertained!

Your siblings are anxiously waiting!  And so are we!  Sage cannot wait and has already offered to just take care of you all the time ;)  Hayden is excited but not too sure about what to do with a baby.  He hopes that you are a boy and that you are born a 6 year old ;)  Will knows that something is up.  His extra clinginess has tipped me off that he knows changes are happening.  He will most definitely be curious about you, and help mom.  He has been practicing by rocking the baby chair, wrapping up his babies, and giving them bottles :)
You will be loved!

We definitely feel more relaxed about having another one this time around.  It is incredible the difference between first and second baby!  It is so nice to be able to relax about it and still be so excited!!  Rather than the excitement and nervousness that comes with the first...although that has it's good points as well :)

You are so different from William already.  I rarely feel you move.  I am almost 21 weeks and every now and then I feel a little flutter.  But everything is a ok.  Things are just situated different this time!  You are so active that we could barely get a picture of you, and you wouldn't hold still to tell if you are a girl or boy.  This activeness along with the inability to actually feel you move has landed you with the temporary name of Ninjamako!

I haven't prepared anything just yet.  I think we'll wait until the third tri to start prepping your nursery, and collecting all our newbie baby items etc.

 Even though the first half has gone by quickly, April still feels so far away!  Can't wait to have you here!

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Happy Schmanniversary ; )

Much has happened since my last post on July 31st.

Waskesiu happened, school has started, we are back into the "normal" routine again of surviving M-F and being lazier on the weekends.  And of course Hayden's escapes keep us entertained during all of this.

I could blog about the silly adventures of the domestic goddess that I am but that can wait.  I could also blog about the adventures of being pregnant for the second time but with three kids in the house...and I will.  This babe deserves some attention ;)

But for now I'm going to start with the present.  In order to do this I will have to go into the past a little bit.

When I was about to get married my Dad gave me the old advice that I'm sure every one gets.  "Marriage is work".  And just like every body else I just smiled and nodded and thought "yeah, ok Dad.  I'm off to go finish my registry".  I'm sure he knew that I had no idea what he was talking about.
And wasn't too insulted when I blatantly gave him the old "smile and nod" as to not be disrespectful ;)

Robert and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversary October 17th.  It sounds cheesy but I knew that I would marry Robert the first time I met him.  Of course it took years for us to finally get to that point.  I knew that we'd be together and I didn't want to make any mistakes getting there.  So we grew up, we dated other people, Robert travelled, and we finished school.  It only took 3 weeks before he had moved in and we were set.

We may have just celebrated 4 years but we have been living together for 9.  I know that is an impressive number to some and a mere wrinkle to others.  And the time doesn't matter at all to me.  It's what we have been through in that nine years that have made me understand what my dad meant by "Marriage is work".

In the past year our lives have changed immensely.  We went through trials before marriage but it was nothing that couldn't slowly be comforted and healed just by having each other.  Going from just us, to three, to five and now to six is hard.  In preparation for marriage, there is no way to actually prepare yourself for what is to come.  You can know each other's values, morals, what they want to be when they grow up, where they want to be in five years, their debt, their plans for budgeting for the future...but there is no way that you can prepare yourself for everything.  And there is no way that you can predict where life will take you.  It's a short life but it is always changing and full of adventure.

This past year has caused us to challenge ourselves, and each other.  We have had to rely on each other more than any other time.  Whether it be for a good old freak out just because you know the other person will sit there and take it and not take it personally or if it's just for some peace and sanctuary and you don't have to say a thing because they understand.  We've had to learn how to just go to each other more than before.  We problem solve together, brainstorm together, try to talk things out.  It is work.  But the point is to work through it together.  I get that now.

It's okay if our ideas are different.  If our parenting skills are different.  If we are super mom and dad one day as well as super husband and wife...and then loose it all the next.  The point is that we go through all of these motions together.  That is what makes marriage stronger, and build our relationship so that we really can trust each other to get through what life has in store for us.

I wouldn't want to go through all of these things with anyone else.  And although it is a challenge, I am happy that I have a husband that I can feel completely comfortable going through all of these motions with me.  The challenges are never left to one person.  It's up to both of us.

Happy 4 (9) years :)  Movie next week? ;)

Back to our escapades next post :)

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Tooth Fairy is Unionized

That's right!  All you parents can thank me later!  I have successfully created a TFEU (Tooth Fairy Employment Union).

Sage lost a tooth about a week ago.  After forgetting the first night to deposit money under her pillow the first night...and then the second night...and then the third night (on this night the tooth went missing...I don't have it) Sage decided to leave a letter.

Dear Tooth Fairy,

You took my tooth but forgot to leave some money.

P.S. I still believe in you.

She wanted to leave it under her pillow...but I interjected and said that the Tooth Fairy is easily distracted...she is a fairy after all...and that it would be best to leave it in the centre of the dining room table.  Just to be safe.

Mama came over to babysit that day and saw the note.  When the kids weren't looking she wrote back from the Tooth Fairy.  She apologized and noted that she was currently on holidays and would return shortly.

Well...the 4th night passed, and then the 5th, and then the 6th.  I know what you are thinking...don't judge me.

By the 5th night Sage had just stopped asking.  The 6th night I remembered!  I pulled her aside and told her that there had been a big development in the fairy world.

All the fairies are now unionized.  There are enough of them after all.

So the Tooth Fairy now receives EDO's every 3rd Thursday, weekends off, holiday time, sick time, mental health leave, family leave, bereavement leave, and stat holidays off.  She does not work overtime.

Sweet deal!

Sage even agreed that it was about time since the Tooth Fairy has had to work all night, every night, since the beginning of time.

By the morning of the 7th day...a Tuesday...Sage had her money :) the TFEU and use the TFEU!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

The Big Boy Bed

We went for the king sized bed!  It's fantastic!  Although I do kind of miss Robert so I do have to make an effort to roll over to his side of the bed lol.  It's rough.

Will has been sleeping on a crib mattress on the floor for a few months now with no tumbles onto the floor so we decided to move the queen size into his room.  We did stick a pool noodle under the fitted sheet to keep him in bed.  He never was a fan of the crib and as soon as he moved out of the crib and onto the mattress on the floor he was taking 3 hour naps in the afternoon and sleeping through the night occasionally.  Whuuuut?  Where the F is that tidbit in the sleep training books that I tossed well over a year ago?  FYI some babies f-ing hate their crib and want you more.  Which we loved ;)

So really the king size will be more useful for our next babe.  (Don't read into that statement.)

Anyway, he was freaking pumped when he saw the queen sized bed in his room!  He is consistently sleeping through the night!  I have even bragged about it a couple times and he is still sleeping in his room all night;)  Now I just have to remember to not stay up til midnight because he is up at 6am.  No wasting the day away in this house :)

The plus side to a queen sized bed is that if he does wake up at 6am one of us will crawl into bed with him now and he sleeps another hour or two ;)...usually.

Now to pick out the bedding!  He will eventually swap beds with S.  The queen size takes up about 3/4 of his room.  And it's just not fair that the biggest child has the smallest bed.

Can't wait to reveal the comic themed bedroom!!  Yay for geek-chic!!!

Friday, July 12, 2013

Set backs

I'm being pretty hard on myself today.

I'm a week away from my first 20 min run and my knees are hurting.  Yep.  They have been throbbing for a week.  Which means I haven't run for about a week and I'm frustrated.

Tonight I ran anyway.  I don't care if it hurts.  Maybe it needs to hurt to get better?

I feel like I've been plugging away at this couch to 5k thing (not on a very rigid schedule :s) and I do not look at all how I thought I would look.  I look the same.  Although that idea has been argued to the contrary by my loving and understanding hubs.

I feel like my arms and lower legs are better.  But I still have the flab of skin that is supposed to by my stomach and saddle bags at the tops of my thighs...and my weight hasn't changed at all.

I know you aren't supposed to look at the scale but I'm desperate for encouragement.  I'm trying...but it's not enough I guess.

Blah.  Whatever.

How's that for a pic me up blog post!  Go eat some ice-cream now.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Adoption 101

Since this whole process began, my inbox on Facebook has been full of friends inquiring about the adoption process.  So, I thought I'd blog about it so the information is always there and so I know I haven't forgotten to mention anything.

We are adopting two children from within my side of the family.  I'm not too sure about the process for finding a child from another country or from within Canada.  I have heard that the wait for a newborn Canadian baby is approx 8 years and an international baby is approx 2-3 years.
The steps after you locate your wee babe are the same.

Find an excellent lawyer.  This is your family and your future babies.  It's worth the money.  Our lawyer is named Leslie Tallis.  She is the number one adoption lawyer in the city.  It's all she does and has been doing for years!  I have complete confidence in her.  Not once did anything go against our favour.

First we had to get their parents to go down to Social Services where they would be educated about what it actually means to give your child up for adoption.  It is an educational meeting for them and by no means do they try to convince them to keep them.  They also make sure that the adoptive parents are not bribing (paying, buying gifts, etc) the biological parents.  This is illegal in Canada.  Which in part why it takes so long to get a newborn baby.  It's not like Juno where you can just pick a pregnant lady, pay her way through the pregnancy and hope you get a newborn out of the deal. cannot even buy the woman flowers in the hospital after birth.

Secondly the birth parents return to Social Services to sign an Adoption Certificate.  This process sounds easy enough but when you have to track down birth parents it's not easy.  We found Sage's dad and he was lazy and had to be threatened to be taken to court...which was enough to get him down to Social Services.  Hayden's dad we never did find.  We had to prove due process to show the courts that we did try to find him.  This way we could dispense of his consent.  And we did.
We were a little concerned about Sage's birth dad in case he decided to fight in court.  But Leslie said that in 25 years she has only had one birth dad show up in court!  And as soon as she mentioned how much he would have to pay in child support to see his child he gave up.  Easy.  (And sad.)

This process took 2 years.

Now you owe your lawyer some cash.  Because this next part is up to you and you won't be using her services for a while.  Approx $6,000.

Then your lawyer gives you a list of professionals to do a home study.  Approx $1800.  This is not meant to be scary!  It has been completely educational.  I love our social worker!  I want to keep her forever.  She has been so helpful and answered to many questions that I almost burst out crying at second meeting.  She helps with any questions you may have regarding the adoption.  Any aspect of it.  She also helps with parenting questions.  They are all about attachment parenting so they help provide tips on how to do develop a secure attachment with adopted children.  (She mentioned that it is easier to do this with older children than with babies under 3 that have been adopted!)  Point for the older kids that need homes!

We have to do 6 home studies.  This normally takes 6 weeks but it's summer.  I imagine we will be done near the end of September.  I really don't want her to go already.  The only other professional I have ever felt this way about was my midwife.

She also helps with your homework!  You will have to complete a Criminal Records Check, a Child Abuse Check (done at Social Services), a full medical examination, a personal history, and reference check.  The personal history and reference check is a lot.  And we will probably have to have friends and family over for drinks when they are done.  It's intense but it has to be.  These kids have been through enough.  And if you want them, you'll do it.  Oh your lawyer some more :)

Once that is done everything that we have completed up to this point is sent off to the courts.  Call up your lawyer again.  This takes approx 3 months depending where you end up in the pile.  Then we sign our lives away and we're done!....well just starting really ;)

Good luck!  It's so worth it!