Thanks for the name Ryan! It is very fitting this time around!
This little one is just over halfway here and I have barely noticed a thing now that the sickness and weight gain have slowed. My initial tip off that we may be having another was the quick 10 lbs that came and would not disappear...and then the sickness kicked in. Luckily the midwife (Ros again!) was right and the weight gain has slowed and the sickness has slowly disappeared.
The first half flew by! You are coming into a very busy house! No one sits ever and we often employ the grandparents on a daily basis. But it is fun, exciting, noisy, and there is always something (if not multiple things) on the go. You will be entertained!
Your siblings are anxiously waiting! And so are we! Sage cannot wait and has already offered to just take care of you all the time ;) Hayden is excited but not too sure about what to do with a baby. He hopes that you are a boy and that you are born a 6 year old ;) Will knows that something is up. His extra clinginess has tipped me off that he knows changes are happening. He will most definitely be curious about you, and help mom. He has been practicing by rocking the baby chair, wrapping up his babies, and giving them bottles :)
You will be loved!
We definitely feel more relaxed about having another one this time around. It is incredible the difference between first and second baby! It is so nice to be able to relax about it and still be so excited!! Rather than the excitement and nervousness that comes with the first...although that has it's good points as well :)
You are so different from William already. I rarely feel you move. I am almost 21 weeks and every now and then I feel a little flutter. But everything is a ok. Things are just situated different this time! You are so active that we could barely get a picture of you, and you wouldn't hold still to tell if you are a girl or boy. This activeness along with the inability to actually feel you move has landed you with the temporary name of Ninjamako!
I haven't prepared anything just yet. I think we'll wait until the third tri to start prepping your nursery, and collecting all our newbie baby items etc.
Even though the first half has gone by quickly, April still feels so far away! Can't wait to have you here!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Happy Schmanniversary ; )
Much has happened since my last post on July 31st.
Waskesiu happened, school has started, we are back into the "normal" routine again of surviving M-F and being lazier on the weekends. And of course Hayden's escapes keep us entertained during all of this.
I could blog about the silly adventures of the domestic goddess that I am but that can wait. I could also blog about the adventures of being pregnant for the second time but with three kids in the house...and I will. This babe deserves some attention ;)
But for now I'm going to start with the present. In order to do this I will have to go into the past a little bit.
When I was about to get married my Dad gave me the old advice that I'm sure every one gets. "Marriage is work". And just like every body else I just smiled and nodded and thought "yeah, ok Dad. I'm off to go finish my registry". I'm sure he knew that I had no idea what he was talking about.
And wasn't too insulted when I blatantly gave him the old "smile and nod" as to not be disrespectful ;)
Robert and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversary October 17th. It sounds cheesy but I knew that I would marry Robert the first time I met him. Of course it took years for us to finally get to that point. I knew that we'd be together and I didn't want to make any mistakes getting there. So we grew up, we dated other people, Robert travelled, and we finished school. It only took 3 weeks before he had moved in and we were set.
We may have just celebrated 4 years but we have been living together for 9. I know that is an impressive number to some and a mere wrinkle to others. And the time doesn't matter at all to me. It's what we have been through in that nine years that have made me understand what my dad meant by "Marriage is work".
In the past year our lives have changed immensely. We went through trials before marriage but it was nothing that couldn't slowly be comforted and healed just by having each other. Going from just us, to three, to five and now to six is hard. In preparation for marriage, there is no way to actually prepare yourself for what is to come. You can know each other's values, morals, what they want to be when they grow up, where they want to be in five years, their debt, their plans for budgeting for the future...but there is no way that you can prepare yourself for everything. And there is no way that you can predict where life will take you. It's a short life but it is always changing and full of adventure.
This past year has caused us to challenge ourselves, and each other. We have had to rely on each other more than any other time. Whether it be for a good old freak out just because you know the other person will sit there and take it and not take it personally or if it's just for some peace and sanctuary and you don't have to say a thing because they understand. We've had to learn how to just go to each other more than before. We problem solve together, brainstorm together, try to talk things out. It is work. But the point is to work through it together. I get that now.
It's okay if our ideas are different. If our parenting skills are different. If we are super mom and dad one day as well as super husband and wife...and then loose it all the next. The point is that we go through all of these motions together. That is what makes marriage stronger, and build our relationship so that we really can trust each other to get through what life has in store for us.
I wouldn't want to go through all of these things with anyone else. And although it is a challenge, I am happy that I have a husband that I can feel completely comfortable going through all of these motions with me. The challenges are never left to one person. It's up to both of us.
Happy 4 (9) years :) Movie next week? ;)
Back to our escapades next post :)
Waskesiu happened, school has started, we are back into the "normal" routine again of surviving M-F and being lazier on the weekends. And of course Hayden's escapes keep us entertained during all of this.
I could blog about the silly adventures of the domestic goddess that I am but that can wait. I could also blog about the adventures of being pregnant for the second time but with three kids in the house...and I will. This babe deserves some attention ;)
But for now I'm going to start with the present. In order to do this I will have to go into the past a little bit.
When I was about to get married my Dad gave me the old advice that I'm sure every one gets. "Marriage is work". And just like every body else I just smiled and nodded and thought "yeah, ok Dad. I'm off to go finish my registry". I'm sure he knew that I had no idea what he was talking about.
And wasn't too insulted when I blatantly gave him the old "smile and nod" as to not be disrespectful ;)
Robert and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversary October 17th. It sounds cheesy but I knew that I would marry Robert the first time I met him. Of course it took years for us to finally get to that point. I knew that we'd be together and I didn't want to make any mistakes getting there. So we grew up, we dated other people, Robert travelled, and we finished school. It only took 3 weeks before he had moved in and we were set.
We may have just celebrated 4 years but we have been living together for 9. I know that is an impressive number to some and a mere wrinkle to others. And the time doesn't matter at all to me. It's what we have been through in that nine years that have made me understand what my dad meant by "Marriage is work".
In the past year our lives have changed immensely. We went through trials before marriage but it was nothing that couldn't slowly be comforted and healed just by having each other. Going from just us, to three, to five and now to six is hard. In preparation for marriage, there is no way to actually prepare yourself for what is to come. You can know each other's values, morals, what they want to be when they grow up, where they want to be in five years, their debt, their plans for budgeting for the future...but there is no way that you can prepare yourself for everything. And there is no way that you can predict where life will take you. It's a short life but it is always changing and full of adventure.
This past year has caused us to challenge ourselves, and each other. We have had to rely on each other more than any other time. Whether it be for a good old freak out just because you know the other person will sit there and take it and not take it personally or if it's just for some peace and sanctuary and you don't have to say a thing because they understand. We've had to learn how to just go to each other more than before. We problem solve together, brainstorm together, try to talk things out. It is work. But the point is to work through it together. I get that now.
It's okay if our ideas are different. If our parenting skills are different. If we are super mom and dad one day as well as super husband and wife...and then loose it all the next. The point is that we go through all of these motions together. That is what makes marriage stronger, and build our relationship so that we really can trust each other to get through what life has in store for us.
I wouldn't want to go through all of these things with anyone else. And although it is a challenge, I am happy that I have a husband that I can feel completely comfortable going through all of these motions with me. The challenges are never left to one person. It's up to both of us.
Happy 4 (9) years :) Movie next week? ;)
Back to our escapades next post :)
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
The Tooth Fairy is Unionized
That's right! All you parents can thank me later! I have successfully created a TFEU (Tooth Fairy Employment Union).
Sage lost a tooth about a week ago. After forgetting the first night to deposit money under her pillow the first night...and then the second night...and then the third night (on this night the tooth went missing...I don't have it) Sage decided to leave a letter.
Dear Tooth Fairy,
You took my tooth but forgot to leave some money.
P.S. I still believe in you.
She wanted to leave it under her pillow...but I interjected and said that the Tooth Fairy is easily distracted...she is a fairy after all...and that it would be best to leave it in the centre of the dining room table. Just to be safe.
Mama came over to babysit that day and saw the note. When the kids weren't looking she wrote back from the Tooth Fairy. She apologized and noted that she was currently on holidays and would return shortly.
Well...the 4th night passed, and then the 5th, and then the 6th. I know what you are thinking...don't judge me.
By the 5th night Sage had just stopped asking. The 6th night I remembered! I pulled her aside and told her that there had been a big development in the fairy world.
All the fairies are now unionized. There are enough of them after all.
So the Tooth Fairy now receives EDO's every 3rd Thursday, weekends off, holiday time, sick time, mental health leave, family leave, bereavement leave, and stat holidays off. She does not work overtime.
Sweet deal!
Sage even agreed that it was about time since the Tooth Fairy has had to work all night, every night, since the beginning of time.
By the morning of the 7th day...a Tuesday...Sage had her money :)
So...love the TFEU and use the TFEU!
Sage lost a tooth about a week ago. After forgetting the first night to deposit money under her pillow the first night...and then the second night...and then the third night (on this night the tooth went missing...I don't have it) Sage decided to leave a letter.
Dear Tooth Fairy,
You took my tooth but forgot to leave some money.
P.S. I still believe in you.
She wanted to leave it under her pillow...but I interjected and said that the Tooth Fairy is easily distracted...she is a fairy after all...and that it would be best to leave it in the centre of the dining room table. Just to be safe.
Mama came over to babysit that day and saw the note. When the kids weren't looking she wrote back from the Tooth Fairy. She apologized and noted that she was currently on holidays and would return shortly.
Well...the 4th night passed, and then the 5th, and then the 6th. I know what you are thinking...don't judge me.
By the 5th night Sage had just stopped asking. The 6th night I remembered! I pulled her aside and told her that there had been a big development in the fairy world.
All the fairies are now unionized. There are enough of them after all.
So the Tooth Fairy now receives EDO's every 3rd Thursday, weekends off, holiday time, sick time, mental health leave, family leave, bereavement leave, and stat holidays off. She does not work overtime.
Sweet deal!
Sage even agreed that it was about time since the Tooth Fairy has had to work all night, every night, since the beginning of time.
By the morning of the 7th day...a Tuesday...Sage had her money :)
So...love the TFEU and use the TFEU!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
The Big Boy Bed
We went for the king sized bed! It's fantastic! Although I do kind of miss Robert so I do have to make an effort to roll over to his side of the bed lol. It's rough.
Will has been sleeping on a crib mattress on the floor for a few months now with no tumbles onto the floor so we decided to move the queen size into his room. We did stick a pool noodle under the fitted sheet to keep him in bed. He never was a fan of the crib and as soon as he moved out of the crib and onto the mattress on the floor he was taking 3 hour naps in the afternoon and sleeping through the night occasionally. Whuuuut? Where the F is that tidbit in the sleep training books that I tossed well over a year ago? FYI some babies f-ing hate their crib and want you more. Which we loved ;)
So really the king size will be more useful for our next babe. (Don't read into that statement.)
Anyway, he was freaking pumped when he saw the queen sized bed in his room! He is consistently sleeping through the night! I have even bragged about it a couple times and he is still sleeping in his room all night;) Now I just have to remember to not stay up til midnight because he is up at 6am. No wasting the day away in this house :)
The plus side to a queen sized bed is that if he does wake up at 6am one of us will crawl into bed with him now and he sleeps another hour or two ;)...usually.
Now to pick out the bedding! He will eventually swap beds with S. The queen size takes up about 3/4 of his room. And it's just not fair that the biggest child has the smallest bed.
Can't wait to reveal the comic themed bedroom!! Yay for geek-chic!!!
Will has been sleeping on a crib mattress on the floor for a few months now with no tumbles onto the floor so we decided to move the queen size into his room. We did stick a pool noodle under the fitted sheet to keep him in bed. He never was a fan of the crib and as soon as he moved out of the crib and onto the mattress on the floor he was taking 3 hour naps in the afternoon and sleeping through the night occasionally. Whuuuut? Where the F is that tidbit in the sleep training books that I tossed well over a year ago? FYI some babies f-ing hate their crib and want you more. Which we loved ;)
So really the king size will be more useful for our next babe. (Don't read into that statement.)
Anyway, he was freaking pumped when he saw the queen sized bed in his room! He is consistently sleeping through the night! I have even bragged about it a couple times and he is still sleeping in his room all night;) Now I just have to remember to not stay up til midnight because he is up at 6am. No wasting the day away in this house :)
The plus side to a queen sized bed is that if he does wake up at 6am one of us will crawl into bed with him now and he sleeps another hour or two ;)...usually.
Now to pick out the bedding! He will eventually swap beds with S. The queen size takes up about 3/4 of his room. And it's just not fair that the biggest child has the smallest bed.
Can't wait to reveal the comic themed bedroom!! Yay for geek-chic!!!
Friday, July 12, 2013
Set backs
I'm being pretty hard on myself today.
I'm a week away from my first 20 min run and my knees are hurting. Yep. They have been throbbing for a week. Which means I haven't run for about a week and I'm frustrated.
Tonight I ran anyway. I don't care if it hurts. Maybe it needs to hurt to get better?
I feel like I've been plugging away at this couch to 5k thing (not on a very rigid schedule :s) and I do not look at all how I thought I would look. I look the same. Although that idea has been argued to the contrary by my loving and understanding hubs.
I feel like my arms and lower legs are better. But I still have the flab of skin that is supposed to by my stomach and saddle bags at the tops of my thighs...and my weight hasn't changed at all.
I know you aren't supposed to look at the scale but I'm desperate for encouragement. I'm trying...but it's not enough I guess.
Blah. Whatever.
How's that for a pic me up blog post! Go eat some ice-cream now.
I'm a week away from my first 20 min run and my knees are hurting. Yep. They have been throbbing for a week. Which means I haven't run for about a week and I'm frustrated.
Tonight I ran anyway. I don't care if it hurts. Maybe it needs to hurt to get better?
I feel like I've been plugging away at this couch to 5k thing (not on a very rigid schedule :s) and I do not look at all how I thought I would look. I look the same. Although that idea has been argued to the contrary by my loving and understanding hubs.
I feel like my arms and lower legs are better. But I still have the flab of skin that is supposed to by my stomach and saddle bags at the tops of my thighs...and my weight hasn't changed at all.
I know you aren't supposed to look at the scale but I'm desperate for encouragement. I'm trying...but it's not enough I guess.
Blah. Whatever.
How's that for a pic me up blog post! Go eat some ice-cream now.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Adoption 101
Since this whole process began, my inbox on Facebook has been full of friends inquiring about the adoption process. So, I thought I'd blog about it so the information is always there and so I know I haven't forgotten to mention anything.
We are adopting two children from within my side of the family. I'm not too sure about the process for finding a child from another country or from within Canada. I have heard that the wait for a newborn Canadian baby is approx 8 years and an international baby is approx 2-3 years.
The steps after you locate your wee babe are the same.
Find an excellent lawyer. This is your family and your future babies. It's worth the money. Our lawyer is named Leslie Tallis. She is the number one adoption lawyer in the city. It's all she does and has been doing for years! I have complete confidence in her. Not once did anything go against our favour.
First we had to get their parents to go down to Social Services where they would be educated about what it actually means to give your child up for adoption. It is an educational meeting for them and by no means do they try to convince them to keep them. They also make sure that the adoptive parents are not bribing (paying, buying gifts, etc) the biological parents. This is illegal in Canada. Which in part why it takes so long to get a newborn baby. It's not like Juno where you can just pick a pregnant lady, pay her way through the pregnancy and hope you get a newborn out of the deal. Seriously...you cannot even buy the woman flowers in the hospital after birth.
Secondly the birth parents return to Social Services to sign an Adoption Certificate. This process sounds easy enough but when you have to track down birth parents it's not easy. We found Sage's dad and he was lazy and had to be threatened to be taken to court...which was enough to get him down to Social Services. Hayden's dad we never did find. We had to prove due process to show the courts that we did try to find him. This way we could dispense of his consent. And we did.
We were a little concerned about Sage's birth dad in case he decided to fight in court. But Leslie said that in 25 years she has only had one birth dad show up in court! And as soon as she mentioned how much he would have to pay in child support to see his child he gave up. Easy. (And sad.)
This process took 2 years.
Now you owe your lawyer some cash. Because this next part is up to you and you won't be using her services for a while. Approx $6,000.
Then your lawyer gives you a list of professionals to do a home study. Approx $1800. This is not meant to be scary! It has been completely educational. I love our social worker! I want to keep her forever. She has been so helpful and answered to many questions that I almost burst out crying at second meeting. She helps with any questions you may have regarding the adoption. Any aspect of it. She also helps with parenting questions. They are all about attachment parenting so they help provide tips on how to do develop a secure attachment with adopted children. (She mentioned that it is easier to do this with older children than with babies under 3 that have been adopted!) Point for the older kids that need homes!
We have to do 6 home studies. This normally takes 6 weeks but it's summer. I imagine we will be done near the end of September. I really don't want her to go already. The only other professional I have ever felt this way about was my midwife.
She also helps with your homework! You will have to complete a Criminal Records Check, a Child Abuse Check (done at Social Services), a full medical examination, a personal history, and reference check. The personal history and reference check is a lot. And we will probably have to have friends and family over for drinks when they are done. It's intense but it has to be. These kids have been through enough. And if you want them, you'll do it. Oh yeah...pay your lawyer some more :)
Once that is done everything that we have completed up to this point is sent off to the courts. Call up your lawyer again. This takes approx 3 months depending where you end up in the pile. Then we sign our lives away and we're done!....well just starting really ;)
Good luck! It's so worth it!
We are adopting two children from within my side of the family. I'm not too sure about the process for finding a child from another country or from within Canada. I have heard that the wait for a newborn Canadian baby is approx 8 years and an international baby is approx 2-3 years.
The steps after you locate your wee babe are the same.
Find an excellent lawyer. This is your family and your future babies. It's worth the money. Our lawyer is named Leslie Tallis. She is the number one adoption lawyer in the city. It's all she does and has been doing for years! I have complete confidence in her. Not once did anything go against our favour.
First we had to get their parents to go down to Social Services where they would be educated about what it actually means to give your child up for adoption. It is an educational meeting for them and by no means do they try to convince them to keep them. They also make sure that the adoptive parents are not bribing (paying, buying gifts, etc) the biological parents. This is illegal in Canada. Which in part why it takes so long to get a newborn baby. It's not like Juno where you can just pick a pregnant lady, pay her way through the pregnancy and hope you get a newborn out of the deal. Seriously...you cannot even buy the woman flowers in the hospital after birth.
Secondly the birth parents return to Social Services to sign an Adoption Certificate. This process sounds easy enough but when you have to track down birth parents it's not easy. We found Sage's dad and he was lazy and had to be threatened to be taken to court...which was enough to get him down to Social Services. Hayden's dad we never did find. We had to prove due process to show the courts that we did try to find him. This way we could dispense of his consent. And we did.
We were a little concerned about Sage's birth dad in case he decided to fight in court. But Leslie said that in 25 years she has only had one birth dad show up in court! And as soon as she mentioned how much he would have to pay in child support to see his child he gave up. Easy. (And sad.)
This process took 2 years.
Now you owe your lawyer some cash. Because this next part is up to you and you won't be using her services for a while. Approx $6,000.
Then your lawyer gives you a list of professionals to do a home study. Approx $1800. This is not meant to be scary! It has been completely educational. I love our social worker! I want to keep her forever. She has been so helpful and answered to many questions that I almost burst out crying at second meeting. She helps with any questions you may have regarding the adoption. Any aspect of it. She also helps with parenting questions. They are all about attachment parenting so they help provide tips on how to do develop a secure attachment with adopted children. (She mentioned that it is easier to do this with older children than with babies under 3 that have been adopted!) Point for the older kids that need homes!
We have to do 6 home studies. This normally takes 6 weeks but it's summer. I imagine we will be done near the end of September. I really don't want her to go already. The only other professional I have ever felt this way about was my midwife.
She also helps with your homework! You will have to complete a Criminal Records Check, a Child Abuse Check (done at Social Services), a full medical examination, a personal history, and reference check. The personal history and reference check is a lot. And we will probably have to have friends and family over for drinks when they are done. It's intense but it has to be. These kids have been through enough. And if you want them, you'll do it. Oh yeah...pay your lawyer some more :)
Once that is done everything that we have completed up to this point is sent off to the courts. Call up your lawyer again. This takes approx 3 months depending where you end up in the pile. Then we sign our lives away and we're done!....well just starting really ;)
Good luck! It's so worth it!
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Sh*t Hayden Says #263
You know that day we just had that was damn near +40? I got home from work, everyone was cranky and miserable so Robert and I decided to take everyone to a movie and have popcorn for supper. Yesss!
On the way home we decided to stop at Superstore to stock up on snacks. We were low on everything.
The theatre was only remotely cooler than our house so aside from the entertainment it wasn't that much better. And I think most of you know of my Superstore Outburst of 2012. So we were all lazy and feeling crummy and I didn't want to brave the hell that is Superstore by myself so I made everyone come with me to bask in my misery.
Turns out we should have just hung out in the freezer section for a couple of hours! It was great!
As we were on our way out we came to an intersection with a very lady like transvestite. Honestly, she made me feel like a man. She walked better than me, had better posture, and had a calm and delightful look upon her face while browsing the aisles. The only thing she missed was her midnight shadow. I think she forgot to shave her face which may be equivalent to me forgetting to shave my legs? An honest and soon to be hilarious mistake.
I knew what was coming in my head. In an instant I had the whole thing pictured. Beginning to end.
I already had my bitchy line of "Excuse for not teaching my six year old about trannies just yet!" (Totally inappropriate and I'm so glad it didn't come to that but nobody be messin' with my kids girlfriend!)
Robert and I noticed and kept moving along...really who cares. Hayden was a different story. Hayden stopped dead in his tracks. The look of complete bewilderment came over his face...jaw hanging and everything. I prepared myself for the worst when he inserted his popsicle (yes I feed my kids food before I buy it..it's about survival people!) back into his mouth and moved on.
Phewff!! Thank goodness!! In the clear.
Hayden wasn't right though for the rest of the night. Unusually quiet, not interested in playing. Just seemed as though he was pondering. I thought that today would be the day I had to explain this. Totally off guard. No idea what to say or how to explain it other than "to each their own" and "does not affect my life in anyway". Which we all know that to a six year old loaded with questions these answers would not cut it.
The dreaded bed time came...the time when kids want to talk. Hayden got all into his pj's and went to brush his teeth. I was waiting for him in his room...prepping for some sort of discussion.
Hayden burst out of the bathroom, hitting the door on the wall behind him. Ran into his room, jumped onto the bed, smacked me and yelled "Oh my god mom! That man wants a Regina!!"
Thank Goodness he figured it out!!
My only reply that night was "Don't say Oh my god...and yes...you're right."
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Buy ALL the shoes!!
So I have been wondering where to buy Sanuks for kids and found them at Escape!! Thanks for the tip Carey!! Great customer service too!! Three kids and an adult were hooked up in 15 minutes. Everyone got what they wanted and no tears!! The staff even seemed to enjoy it :)
Kids shoes are something I spend money on too. There is a huge difference between how Walmart or Joe shoes pan out versus the name brands.
We got home and I realized that I cannot walk into my narrow front hallway because of all the shoes. So I decided to give some away!! The pile wasn't nearly as big as I was hoping it would be though...
Here's the thing...
The kids each have 1 pair of active outdoor shoes for every season and 1 pair of casual outdoor shoes for every season. Plus a pair of dress shoes, and a pair of indoor shoes for school.
That is 12 pairs of shoes right there!
Will is the exception because he is new and shiny so he has so many shoes I don't even bother thinking about it! Let's say he has 9 pairs of shoes just from the ones I can think of right now.
So we're at 17 pairs of shoes.
Then there are the shoes for Robert and I. Adults have WAY more occasions that call for different shoes. There are probably 10 pairs for both of us.
So now we're at 27 pairs of shoes sitting in my front entrance!! That I can't get rid of yet!! Normal??!!
Anyone??!!
Please someone make me feel better...
I do have a reno planned to help our narrow, long front entrance but not until fall when we aren't so busy outside ;)
Kids shoes are something I spend money on too. There is a huge difference between how Walmart or Joe shoes pan out versus the name brands.
We got home and I realized that I cannot walk into my narrow front hallway because of all the shoes. So I decided to give some away!! The pile wasn't nearly as big as I was hoping it would be though...
Here's the thing...
The kids each have 1 pair of active outdoor shoes for every season and 1 pair of casual outdoor shoes for every season. Plus a pair of dress shoes, and a pair of indoor shoes for school.
That is 12 pairs of shoes right there!
Will is the exception because he is new and shiny so he has so many shoes I don't even bother thinking about it! Let's say he has 9 pairs of shoes just from the ones I can think of right now.
So we're at 17 pairs of shoes.
Then there are the shoes for Robert and I. Adults have WAY more occasions that call for different shoes. There are probably 10 pairs for both of us.
So now we're at 27 pairs of shoes sitting in my front entrance!! That I can't get rid of yet!! Normal??!!
Anyone??!!
Please someone make me feel better...
I do have a reno planned to help our narrow, long front entrance but not until fall when we aren't so busy outside ;)
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
You asked for it!! How to Get Compliments Grocery Shopping Part 1
One of the biggest things we have learned this year is that it is easy to blow the budget on food with a family of 5. There really is no room for error or poor planning.
Being lazy costs $$. Not planning ahead costs $$ too. Having to run out for supper with 5 costs a minimum of $40 for McDick's. If we want a decent meal where we can sit quietly and not listen to mayhem (we're demanding I know) it is about $60...just to sit! Nothing special about this meal.
$40 to $100 may not seem like much for some to spend on a whim BUT I would rather spend that on a date night, or a couple decent pairs of shoes for the kids, or any form of entertainment that will last longer than 45min. Because we eat and run! For us and for those sitting around us...
This is why I have become a prostar at the grocery planning. In order to show people how I do it I have to plan ahead and track my spending. I'll take a months worth of shopping trips and show receipts!
But in order to prep for that here are my own house rules for food!
1) No snacks that come in crinkly packages...this sucks more for me than the kids. I try to bake 2-3 snacks a week. The only crinkly packages in my cupboards are soup crackers, raisins, nuts, and tuna.
2) I make all my own sauces and condiments. It's really easier than it sounds!
3) My cupboards are fully stocked with spices, stocks (in case I have run out of my own), and baking supplies.
4) Be wary of "house brands". These are not always cheaper. Safeway is really good for showing how much you are paying per 100 grams on their prices. I rarely buy house brands.
5) Contrary to #4 sometimes house brands are cheaper. And I buy it. Let's face it. Crap is crap. And if my kids are dying for some KD crap...I'd rather pay .48 cents for crap than $1 for the "better" crap.
6) I try my hardest to go grocery shopping with the smallest number of kids possible. Kids are a distraction and it is easy to break focus and just buy all the things and not look at prices! And then buy yourself all the things to make yourself feel better because your kids are driving you insane. This is what causes me to break the budget many times in the past. No matter how badly your kids are behaving...you do not deserve a new dress.
7) I watch flyers. Sometimes Costco is cheaper, sometimes Superstore is cheaper, sometimes Walmart is cheaper...sometimes Shoppers! Watch out. I would thought I could coupon but that takes time. And I watched one episode of Extreme Couponing and almost died of a heart attack at the extreme hoarding going on!
8) Beware of Super Centres that have it all. It is easy to blow the budget on a good deal that isn't food!
People say they can't afford Safeway or Co-op but it is a lot easier to stay on budget when there is no other option at the store that isn't food.
9) For fun snacks my kids get to pick out two fruits and two vegetables that they haven't tried before. Sounds lame but kids really just like to have some control in their opinions and choices. Who doesn't? And they have come home with some cool stuff.
10) If it is out of the budget, I don't buy it. It will just have to wait for next week. Or figure out a cheaper option.
11) A little more time (and I mean seconds) can save you at least half! Yep. Sliced bread doubles the cost of a loaf. I can buy 4 loaves of whole wheat unsliced bread for $3. It stays fresh longer and tastes better. This rule applies to many other things.
12) Meal Planning is an absolute must.
13) Do a cupboard inventory every week to see what you have leftover that could be turned into a possible meal...beef up a meal on the meal plan...and to make sure you don't end up buying double! I have cayenne pepper to last generations :s
14) Don't be a snob. When my "random" household items is quite long I stop at Dollarama to see what they have. You would be surprised to see how much brand name stuff they carry.
12) Meal Planning is an absolute must.
13) Do a cupboard inventory every week to see what you have leftover that could be turned into a possible meal...beef up a meal on the meal plan...and to make sure you don't end up buying double! I have cayenne pepper to last generations :s
14) Don't be a snob. When my "random" household items is quite long I stop at Dollarama to see what they have. You would be surprised to see how much brand name stuff they carry.
It's summer! I'm way less experimental during the summer...which means an even cheaper bill! We just want to eat something and get back outside. Or BBQ. Lately my bill has been $100-$150 a week :) I've even gotten a few compliments from the cashiers lately...Which means more money for stuff that I want to spend $ on.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Irrational Fear?
It has almost been a year since I've been taking anti anxiety meds and my doctor would like to start weaning me off. Done breast feeding, Will is sleeping better, and it's summer! Sun makes you happy!
But I'm scared.
I'm scared that I need medication to love my family and enjoy my life.
I'm afraid of what it will do to my psyche if I can't handle life without the medication.
I was silly and wanted to try to stop the meds "cold turkey". That didn't go well. I felt dizzy, nauseous, numb, and was totally fine with all hell breaking loose in my house as long as I had my little bubble to hide in.
Not good. I should probably mention that to my doctor...but I'm afraid of the lecture of trying to stop the meds myself. I've always thought that other people deciding to go off their meds were crazy...but I do see the appeal in wanting to feel like you have some control over your life.
I'm having anxiety over having to give up my anxiety pills.
I have 30 days of pills left and I kind of want to take one every other day so that I have 60 days before I have to think about going to the doc and coming up with a plan.
This sucks.
I clearly don't know if I want them or not.
I never thought that I would be this mom. Didn't even cross my mind. I knew that it ran in the family but I thought that I was stronger than that.
What does it mean if I can't function without them?
I'm jealous of all the moms that can just go out with their babies in that first year. I remember crying at home all day, my midwife taking me for practice runs walking around the block or driving my car without Will in hopes that someday I could do it with him. I spent 3 weeks straight inside my house. And Robert had to really be convincing in order to get me to walk around the block. I really don't remember much about the first 6 months at all. Instead of cherishing the first year I just wanted it to be over. So is that person going to come back?
I hope that Will doesn't find out what his mom was like when he was a newborn. And that if he does that he knows how sorry I am that I wasn't strong enough.
How come other moms can handle the first year but I can't? I'm always so afraid that other moms will judge me and think that I'm totally incompetent or judge Will and think that he is a horrible baby...(as if there is such a thing). When really we are told all the time that he is the happiest baby most have seen. Argh.
Hopefully I can remember all these things when I go to the doc...
I prefer blogging about the trials of parenthood. But this needed to be a post so that I can move on.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Happy Mother's Day....now cry.
Yep! My kids made me cry for Mother's Day. But a happy cry.
I feel so fortunate that Sage and Hayden call me "mom". When we adopted them Robert and I decided that we would not ask them to call us anything. Robert was "dad" right away. I had to wait a bit longer to be "mom". Sometimes I would be mom, or auntie, or Shauna.
It made sense. Neither of them know their birth fathers. So the opportunity to have a dad was new for them. But they already have a mommy, and a mama, and a nana, and an Auntie Shauna. I was happy with our decision to not force names upon them for Robert and I but I think I felt like it would be nice if they called me mom because I wanted to be one to them so badly.
I was patient though and waited.
I'm mom all the time now:) I got a card, some roses that Sage picked out, a cake that Hayden piced out and giggles from Will :)
I had been joking around at work on Mother's Day (after my partner bought me a yummy lunch!) that I didn't want another craft! Lol. I have stacks of pictures...I love them all but I'm sure any mom reading this understands my little funny ;)
Well I also got crafts. And these are the gifts that ironically made me cry and I love them! Hayden's is decorating my locker at work and Sage wrote a book of poems that sits proudly on display in our living room...I also took the crafts to brag at work :)
One of Sage's poems ended with "Did you know that there are babies and kids in the world without mommies or food or shelter? Did you know that I got to be adopted? Did you know that you are my mommy and I love you dearly?"
Cue tears.
I feel so fortunate that Sage and Hayden call me "mom". When we adopted them Robert and I decided that we would not ask them to call us anything. Robert was "dad" right away. I had to wait a bit longer to be "mom". Sometimes I would be mom, or auntie, or Shauna.
It made sense. Neither of them know their birth fathers. So the opportunity to have a dad was new for them. But they already have a mommy, and a mama, and a nana, and an Auntie Shauna. I was happy with our decision to not force names upon them for Robert and I but I think I felt like it would be nice if they called me mom because I wanted to be one to them so badly.
I was patient though and waited.
I'm mom all the time now:) I got a card, some roses that Sage picked out, a cake that Hayden piced out and giggles from Will :)
I had been joking around at work on Mother's Day (after my partner bought me a yummy lunch!) that I didn't want another craft! Lol. I have stacks of pictures...I love them all but I'm sure any mom reading this understands my little funny ;)
Well I also got crafts. And these are the gifts that ironically made me cry and I love them! Hayden's is decorating my locker at work and Sage wrote a book of poems that sits proudly on display in our living room...I also took the crafts to brag at work :)
One of Sage's poems ended with "Did you know that there are babies and kids in the world without mommies or food or shelter? Did you know that I got to be adopted? Did you know that you are my mommy and I love you dearly?"
Cue tears.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Someone I Admire...how can you not ;)
May Photo Challenge Day #3
I'm a bit behind but this someone deserves a blog post and some extra admiration.
Here she is:
This is Sagelyne. The person I admire and who I know will grow up to be an incredibly admirable woman.
She is a friend to everyone. A great older sister. And an awesome caregiver.
She is competitive. Not afraid to dig around in the dirt. And will play any sport.
At the same time she likes to play with make up and have her nails done and play with extravagant earrings.
She is beautiful with her green eyes, dirty blond hair, and tan skin....I cannot wait to slap some braces on you ;)
She is my personal trainer. She leads the way on my couch to 5k program and encourages me the whole way. It is a lot of fun to spend time together in the evening!
She wants to be a teacher or a "jail police" when she grows up.
This girl can do it all...really. One of the most well rounded and down to earth girls that I have ever met. She absolutely loves life and is excited for every new day.
She is so in tune with her emotions and speaks so well when needed. And doesn't let anyone push her around. She isn't afraid to go against the norm and be herself.
I am so lucky that this girl chose me. This three year old girl asked me to be her mom one night as I was tucking her in. "I think that God was confused because you are supposed to be my mom. Can you keep me and stay with me forever?"
It took some time Miss S but "Yes I can".
I'm a bit behind but this someone deserves a blog post and some extra admiration.
Here she is:
This is Sagelyne. The person I admire and who I know will grow up to be an incredibly admirable woman.
She is a friend to everyone. A great older sister. And an awesome caregiver.
She is competitive. Not afraid to dig around in the dirt. And will play any sport.
At the same time she likes to play with make up and have her nails done and play with extravagant earrings.
She is beautiful with her green eyes, dirty blond hair, and tan skin....I cannot wait to slap some braces on you ;)
She is my personal trainer. She leads the way on my couch to 5k program and encourages me the whole way. It is a lot of fun to spend time together in the evening!
She wants to be a teacher or a "jail police" when she grows up.
This girl can do it all...really. One of the most well rounded and down to earth girls that I have ever met. She absolutely loves life and is excited for every new day.
She is so in tune with her emotions and speaks so well when needed. And doesn't let anyone push her around. She isn't afraid to go against the norm and be herself.
I am so lucky that this girl chose me. This three year old girl asked me to be her mom one night as I was tucking her in. "I think that God was confused because you are supposed to be my mom. Can you keep me and stay with me forever?"
It took some time Miss S but "Yes I can".
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
How cosleeping (gasp!) saved me and my baby
It is no secret that Will and I struggled with breastfeeding for a whole 12 weeks. And by struggling I mean crying in searing knife stabbing pain as old scabs and puss was removed. And then having a whole hour or two (if I was lucky) before he would be hungry again. Day and night.
Nothing is worse than your tears falling on your newborn baby while you try to bond the only way that a mother and baby can...the most naturally. But I hung in there with support from some great friends :)
Whether it be the struggles with nursing, the lack of sleep, hormones or all of the above I was finally diagnosed with PPA....finally....after months of trying to explain to people that something was wrong.
How did cosleeping tie in? LOADS!!
We had a cosleeper that attached to the side of our bed for the first 9 months. It was cosleeping that first tipped me off that Will probably notices during the day that something is wrong between us. When we slept together we would breath at the same time, stretch at the same time, and wake at the same time. It was this connection at night that made me realize that there had to be a subconscious, physical and emotional connection during the day. We got help ASAP.
Then my doctor and midwife gave me permission to cosleep. Not that I needed it but there was always some underlying guilt lurking. Especially being a first time mom. But they told me to test my gut, and if Robert and I sleep best that way...go for it.
And so it began...our way to healing our bond. Once the searing pain ended at about 3 months my little "frequent nurser" and I got so good I hardly woke up anymore to feed him.
Sleep. My sanity was restored. Hormones were under control. And my goal of nursing my baby was met.
We still co sleep and he sleeps through the night :) At last :)
I don't know when it will end. I don't care. Both Will and I survived and if cosleeping helped with that then I'll do it as long as we need.
I really had to plea in order to get help. Sleep and PPA are some hot topics among moms...especially the "bully moms". It wasn't easy. Trust your gut and do what you have to do. It's about you, your baby, and your family. No one else :)
Nothing is worse than your tears falling on your newborn baby while you try to bond the only way that a mother and baby can...the most naturally. But I hung in there with support from some great friends :)
Whether it be the struggles with nursing, the lack of sleep, hormones or all of the above I was finally diagnosed with PPA....finally....after months of trying to explain to people that something was wrong.
How did cosleeping tie in? LOADS!!
We had a cosleeper that attached to the side of our bed for the first 9 months. It was cosleeping that first tipped me off that Will probably notices during the day that something is wrong between us. When we slept together we would breath at the same time, stretch at the same time, and wake at the same time. It was this connection at night that made me realize that there had to be a subconscious, physical and emotional connection during the day. We got help ASAP.
Then my doctor and midwife gave me permission to cosleep. Not that I needed it but there was always some underlying guilt lurking. Especially being a first time mom. But they told me to test my gut, and if Robert and I sleep best that way...go for it.
And so it began...our way to healing our bond. Once the searing pain ended at about 3 months my little "frequent nurser" and I got so good I hardly woke up anymore to feed him.
Sleep. My sanity was restored. Hormones were under control. And my goal of nursing my baby was met.
We still co sleep and he sleeps through the night :) At last :)
I don't know when it will end. I don't care. Both Will and I survived and if cosleeping helped with that then I'll do it as long as we need.
I really had to plea in order to get help. Sleep and PPA are some hot topics among moms...especially the "bully moms". It wasn't easy. Trust your gut and do what you have to do. It's about you, your baby, and your family. No one else :)
Monday, April 29, 2013
February 13th, 2012
Thanks for reminding me about this draft Anne!!
William Bennett was born at exactly 39 weeks on February 13th, 2012! It was much quicker than we had anticipated. A whole 6 hours start to finish :) For those that have been asking for the details...it went a little something like this...
I went to bed at about 10pm because our midwife had mentioned that most women will go into labour at 2am, so start going to bed early. I was incredibly uncomfortable. No pain...just could not get settled. I thought that it was just because we were near the end and the baby was getting so big. I was almost crying because I thought every night would be this uncomfortable for the next few weeks...if he was late.
2AM I got incredibly hot and felt a pop. "Robert....either my water just broke or I am peeing my pants non stop." Of course what do you do for any medical question...don't call the midwife at 2am (like she told us to for anything we may need)...consult google.
Google said that I had up to 48 hours before I would go into labour...good...I had time to prepare. As soon as I hit the "x" to go back to bed...contractions started.
We got up...I had something to eat and drink and we relaxed while I dealt with the contractions and stayed upright and walking.
230AM Called the midwife to tell her my water had broken, that we were going to start timing contractions, and that we would call her back. We decided that this was really happening and started to time contractions. They were exactly 5 min apart lasting 1 min for 1 hour. But I decided that there was no way it could be happening that quickly...so we decided to time for another hour. When contractions started Feb 13th...I was preparing myself mentally to have a baby on Feb 14th.
330AM The second hour of timing contractions and we were at 3 min apart lasting 1 min for 1 hour...and I puked up my early morning breakfast.
430AM Called midwife to tell her that I puked and the length of contractions...and that I could no longer focus on anything else but getting through them. She said she would be right over....she had to get up, pack, and drive from the east end...I anxiously waited for her ;)
530AM Midwife arrived to check me. She thought that I was still in early labour by looking at how I was handling everything...but was amazed when we were already 6-7cm along. Robert said the look on her face was priceless. Then she smiled at me, looked into my eyes and reassured me that I was doing amazing for a FTM and that it would be over soon. She instructed Robert to start filling the pool while she set up all of her medical supplies. And I needed an IV because I was GBS +. We should have started to fill the pool at 230AM...but of course we were in shock and denial. We were sure we would have close to 20 hours to get that pool full lol.
630 AM She was all set up...the midwife to care for Will had arrived and the pool was only 1/3 of the way full. In order for water to be pain and pressure relieving, it has the be full and I had to be buoyant. I was asking to get in with it only 1/3 of the way full and asked if it would provide the same pain relief. The midwife looked at me and said..."ummm, it'll take the edge off ". Not the answer I wanted but I didn't care...I was in there in a flash. Shortly after I got in we ran out of hot water. This is common and no big deal when you have a stove and kettles. So the midwives were warming my water, massaging my back, smiling and reassuring me, and Robert was working hard with my and keeping me relaxed. At one point Will's heart rate did start to drop (which is normal) and it was as easy as changing positions to get it right back up again (this is a trick they use often). It hurts but I never felt out of control or scared.
820AM I had to get out of the pool to finish. Because the pool was a third full Will could not be born into the water. If any part of a baby is exposed to air, they will start to breathe on their own. So...out I got and in two pushes he was here! Honestly...7-10cm in the pool was the hardest part...but it was short...and do able. No one told me that eventually there would be NO break between contractions. Pushing was the easiest part and felt good! I'd do it again :) Even when it felt like every bone in my body was about to snap, I knew that I could do it!
Thanks team!
So, I would do it again. After hearing so many stories of the screaming and unbearable pain...I'm glad that I have one that I can share and is a good "you can do it!" story.
William Bennett was born at exactly 39 weeks on February 13th, 2012! It was much quicker than we had anticipated. A whole 6 hours start to finish :) For those that have been asking for the details...it went a little something like this...
I went to bed at about 10pm because our midwife had mentioned that most women will go into labour at 2am, so start going to bed early. I was incredibly uncomfortable. No pain...just could not get settled. I thought that it was just because we were near the end and the baby was getting so big. I was almost crying because I thought every night would be this uncomfortable for the next few weeks...if he was late.
2AM I got incredibly hot and felt a pop. "Robert....either my water just broke or I am peeing my pants non stop." Of course what do you do for any medical question...don't call the midwife at 2am (like she told us to for anything we may need)...consult google.
Google said that I had up to 48 hours before I would go into labour...good...I had time to prepare. As soon as I hit the "x" to go back to bed...contractions started.
We got up...I had something to eat and drink and we relaxed while I dealt with the contractions and stayed upright and walking.
230AM Called the midwife to tell her my water had broken, that we were going to start timing contractions, and that we would call her back. We decided that this was really happening and started to time contractions. They were exactly 5 min apart lasting 1 min for 1 hour. But I decided that there was no way it could be happening that quickly...so we decided to time for another hour. When contractions started Feb 13th...I was preparing myself mentally to have a baby on Feb 14th.
330AM The second hour of timing contractions and we were at 3 min apart lasting 1 min for 1 hour...and I puked up my early morning breakfast.
430AM Called midwife to tell her that I puked and the length of contractions...and that I could no longer focus on anything else but getting through them. She said she would be right over....she had to get up, pack, and drive from the east end...I anxiously waited for her ;)
530AM Midwife arrived to check me. She thought that I was still in early labour by looking at how I was handling everything...but was amazed when we were already 6-7cm along. Robert said the look on her face was priceless. Then she smiled at me, looked into my eyes and reassured me that I was doing amazing for a FTM and that it would be over soon. She instructed Robert to start filling the pool while she set up all of her medical supplies. And I needed an IV because I was GBS +. We should have started to fill the pool at 230AM...but of course we were in shock and denial. We were sure we would have close to 20 hours to get that pool full lol.
630 AM She was all set up...the midwife to care for Will had arrived and the pool was only 1/3 of the way full. In order for water to be pain and pressure relieving, it has the be full and I had to be buoyant. I was asking to get in with it only 1/3 of the way full and asked if it would provide the same pain relief. The midwife looked at me and said..."ummm, it'll take the edge off ". Not the answer I wanted but I didn't care...I was in there in a flash. Shortly after I got in we ran out of hot water. This is common and no big deal when you have a stove and kettles. So the midwives were warming my water, massaging my back, smiling and reassuring me, and Robert was working hard with my and keeping me relaxed. At one point Will's heart rate did start to drop (which is normal) and it was as easy as changing positions to get it right back up again (this is a trick they use often). It hurts but I never felt out of control or scared.
820AM I had to get out of the pool to finish. Because the pool was a third full Will could not be born into the water. If any part of a baby is exposed to air, they will start to breathe on their own. So...out I got and in two pushes he was here! Honestly...7-10cm in the pool was the hardest part...but it was short...and do able. No one told me that eventually there would be NO break between contractions. Pushing was the easiest part and felt good! I'd do it again :) Even when it felt like every bone in my body was about to snap, I knew that I could do it!
Thanks team!
So, I would do it again. After hearing so many stories of the screaming and unbearable pain...I'm glad that I have one that I can share and is a good "you can do it!" story.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Reasons my toddler is crying today so far...
He is going to wake up soon but doesn't want to.
He is awake and wants to get up.
He has a dirty diaper.
He does not want a diaper change.
He wants breakfast.
He does not want to sit at the table to eat breakfast.
He wants to climb upstairs.
I touched the baby gate.
He wants to open and close the baby gate himself.
He is trying to take off his Pyjama shirt.
He does not want to get dressed.
He wants to jump on Hayden's bed.
He wants down from Hayden's bed.
He wants to watch Backyardigans.
He wants to hold the remote.
Backyardigans has paused because he does not know how to use a remote.
He wants the grape tomatoes in his mouth....NOW!!!
He doesn't want anymore tomatoes.
He wants to pour Poncho's water all over the floor.
He can't figure out how to get the lid off his sippy cup....probable so he can pour water all over the floor.
He wants lunch.
He does not want to be put down so I can make lunch.
He wants to sit on my lap to eat lunch...not his chair.
He wants to pull all his clothes out of the dresser.
He does not want a nap today.
Reason my toddler is not crying right now:
Cuddling with me on the couch :)
He is awake and wants to get up.
He has a dirty diaper.
He does not want a diaper change.
He wants breakfast.
He does not want to sit at the table to eat breakfast.
He wants to climb upstairs.
I touched the baby gate.
He wants to open and close the baby gate himself.
He is trying to take off his Pyjama shirt.
He does not want to get dressed.
He wants to jump on Hayden's bed.
He wants down from Hayden's bed.
He wants to watch Backyardigans.
He wants to hold the remote.
Backyardigans has paused because he does not know how to use a remote.
He wants the grape tomatoes in his mouth....NOW!!!
He doesn't want anymore tomatoes.
He wants to pour Poncho's water all over the floor.
He can't figure out how to get the lid off his sippy cup....probable so he can pour water all over the floor.
He wants lunch.
He does not want to be put down so I can make lunch.
He wants to sit on my lap to eat lunch...not his chair.
He wants to pull all his clothes out of the dresser.
He does not want a nap today.
Reason my toddler is not crying right now:
Cuddling with me on the couch :)
Friday, April 5, 2013
Grocery shopping for three please!
It takes a brave person to take three children out of the house and into public places.
It's not easy and it takes some prep work. It's okay when we go out to do fun things. That's fairly easy. Usually it's something kid related so it's totally cool if my kids are running around like a bunch of rabid hamsters because so are all the other kids.
The scary trip is grocery shopping.
So many things can go wrong grocery shopping.
1) The Budget. I go with a set budget. I can feed a family of 5 on $160 a week and there is zero crap in my house. I'm fairly proud of this ;) The running total of groceries is easy to keep track of by myself. But add in three kids (one screaming or babbling, one running around the store pretending he works there, and one rolling her eyes and scoffing because "you don't buy her anything EVER") Things get a little sketchy.
"Ok with the eggs I'm at $40." Then insert random chaos, spit, and screaming. Try to remember the number you just said. Impossible.
2) The cart. How can a box on wheels cause mayhem in a grocery store? Do you know what kids LOVE to play with? BOXES!! These boxes have mother f-ing wheels on them!! Need I explain more?
3) Keeping items in the cart. Will throws everything out of the cart. Why not keep everything away from him? Ummmm did you notice I have a family of 5 to feed? You could climb my cart by the time I reach the checkout.
4) Keeping items out of the cart. That's right. I have two kids with me that are constantly asking me for things and hiding items in the cart.
5) Try to look sane. I look totally sane on my own! Trying to discipline two kids in the middle of a grocery store is not easy! We all know that you find the least populated aisle and let me have it but you need SOME control. Plus it s soon forgotten the second they start to misbehave and some stranger looks at them like they are all cute and fluffy. Then everything you just said is gone!
By the end of the trip I am thinking about stopping by the LB but have no energy. So I pick up some Kahlua favored K-cups and am on my way...
Oh. And my organized items at the till goes to crap too. We basically puke the contents of the cart onto the belt. Thanks for the help kiddos! We've survived another shopping trip :)
It's not easy and it takes some prep work. It's okay when we go out to do fun things. That's fairly easy. Usually it's something kid related so it's totally cool if my kids are running around like a bunch of rabid hamsters because so are all the other kids.
The scary trip is grocery shopping.
So many things can go wrong grocery shopping.
1) The Budget. I go with a set budget. I can feed a family of 5 on $160 a week and there is zero crap in my house. I'm fairly proud of this ;) The running total of groceries is easy to keep track of by myself. But add in three kids (one screaming or babbling, one running around the store pretending he works there, and one rolling her eyes and scoffing because "you don't buy her anything EVER") Things get a little sketchy.
"Ok with the eggs I'm at $40." Then insert random chaos, spit, and screaming. Try to remember the number you just said. Impossible.
2) The cart. How can a box on wheels cause mayhem in a grocery store? Do you know what kids LOVE to play with? BOXES!! These boxes have mother f-ing wheels on them!! Need I explain more?
3) Keeping items in the cart. Will throws everything out of the cart. Why not keep everything away from him? Ummmm did you notice I have a family of 5 to feed? You could climb my cart by the time I reach the checkout.
4) Keeping items out of the cart. That's right. I have two kids with me that are constantly asking me for things and hiding items in the cart.
5) Try to look sane. I look totally sane on my own! Trying to discipline two kids in the middle of a grocery store is not easy! We all know that you find the least populated aisle and let me have it but you need SOME control. Plus it s soon forgotten the second they start to misbehave and some stranger looks at them like they are all cute and fluffy. Then everything you just said is gone!
By the end of the trip I am thinking about stopping by the LB but have no energy. So I pick up some Kahlua favored K-cups and am on my way...
Oh. And my organized items at the till goes to crap too. We basically puke the contents of the cart onto the belt. Thanks for the help kiddos! We've survived another shopping trip :)
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Sensory bin rage!
The other day I was on Pinterest and came across some DIY sensory bins.
Will and I are bored out of our minds today so I decided to give it a try. It looked like fun and I can't possibly deprive my baby of a learning experience! ;)
I grabbed a rectangular plastic bin, some oats, and random cups, plastic toys etc. and tossed it all together.
In the pictures you see a smiling baby playing in the bin, nicely and a mom smiling right next to him.
They are sitting in a brightly painted and incredibly organized room.
Right on! The sensory bin keeps baby so busy that they don't make a mess and therefore mom is happy :)
Want to know what it really looks like?
At first Will dipped his hands in and played with the measuring cups. Cute.
Then he started to dump it on the floor around the perimeter of the bin. Still cute.
Then he started to step in it. Not quite as cute but it IS a sensory bin after all.
Then he crouched down and started to grab oats and toss them into a pile. I can live with that...grab broom.
Then he walk through the oats. Glad I got the broom.
Then he starts running throughout the oats, screaming in in joy but the joy that a fully charged psychopath may experience, throwing oats everywhere!
I am still in denial. I calm myself and say that it's ok. I try to stop him but it's not his fault! He cries.
I let him continue hoping that I can catch up with the cleaning while he plays and we can return to sitting on the floor smiling.
Negative!
Disaster ensues. There are oats everywhere, baby crying, and a flustered mom.
Robert gets home at 3 :)
Will and I are bored out of our minds today so I decided to give it a try. It looked like fun and I can't possibly deprive my baby of a learning experience! ;)
I grabbed a rectangular plastic bin, some oats, and random cups, plastic toys etc. and tossed it all together.
In the pictures you see a smiling baby playing in the bin, nicely and a mom smiling right next to him.
They are sitting in a brightly painted and incredibly organized room.
Right on! The sensory bin keeps baby so busy that they don't make a mess and therefore mom is happy :)
Want to know what it really looks like?
At first Will dipped his hands in and played with the measuring cups. Cute.
Then he started to dump it on the floor around the perimeter of the bin. Still cute.
Then he started to step in it. Not quite as cute but it IS a sensory bin after all.
Then he crouched down and started to grab oats and toss them into a pile. I can live with that...grab broom.
Then he walk through the oats. Glad I got the broom.
Then he starts running throughout the oats, screaming in in joy but the joy that a fully charged psychopath may experience, throwing oats everywhere!
I am still in denial. I calm myself and say that it's ok. I try to stop him but it's not his fault! He cries.
I let him continue hoping that I can catch up with the cleaning while he plays and we can return to sitting on the floor smiling.
Negative!
Disaster ensues. There are oats everywhere, baby crying, and a flustered mom.
Robert gets home at 3 :)
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Poncho Rehab
With all of the changes over the past year, Poncho has gone from angry to sad to just depressed.
Baby = angry
2 more kids = sad
Hardwood floors that he refuses to walk on = most depressed dog ever!
So, we have deemed April "Poncho Rehab Month".
Step 1: New do! I'm pretty choked that the groomer cut off his Mohawk. Not cool.
Step 2: Learn how to cut his nails so that I'm not waiting to get the groomer to do it. This will help with the floors :)
Step 3: With the snow melt we are back to our 30 min daily walks.
Step 4: We introduced a raw food diet. He LOVES it! Plus he will chew on the raw bones for hours which will eliminate teeth cleaning and keeps him busy ALL day. This took a lot of research and finding a reliable supplier. And I almost puked the first time I served up his raw patty. But he downed it! And to be honest, he was so sad that he stopped eating his kibble. Eating disorder solved!
Step 5: Glucosamine. I've been adding it to his meal as a prevention for arthritis. I don't think it has set in yet but little dogs receive a lot of wear and tear on their poor joints. If he is sore the wod floors won't help anything.
Step 6: Train Poncho to join us in the family room. He is walking around the whole house now BUT not the family room. Which is where we spend most of our time :s
He is happier already! But this month will be a lot of work. We've had some good cuddles together lately. Snuggles and the relaxing walks outside have been good for me too! Pet therapy is great!
Baby = angry
2 more kids = sad
Hardwood floors that he refuses to walk on = most depressed dog ever!
So, we have deemed April "Poncho Rehab Month".
Step 1: New do! I'm pretty choked that the groomer cut off his Mohawk. Not cool.
Step 2: Learn how to cut his nails so that I'm not waiting to get the groomer to do it. This will help with the floors :)
Step 3: With the snow melt we are back to our 30 min daily walks.
Step 4: We introduced a raw food diet. He LOVES it! Plus he will chew on the raw bones for hours which will eliminate teeth cleaning and keeps him busy ALL day. This took a lot of research and finding a reliable supplier. And I almost puked the first time I served up his raw patty. But he downed it! And to be honest, he was so sad that he stopped eating his kibble. Eating disorder solved!
Step 5: Glucosamine. I've been adding it to his meal as a prevention for arthritis. I don't think it has set in yet but little dogs receive a lot of wear and tear on their poor joints. If he is sore the wod floors won't help anything.
Step 6: Train Poncho to join us in the family room. He is walking around the whole house now BUT not the family room. Which is where we spend most of our time :s
He is happier already! But this month will be a lot of work. We've had some good cuddles together lately. Snuggles and the relaxing walks outside have been good for me too! Pet therapy is great!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Cupboard Cleansing
Robert and I have been struggling for a while to find an acceptable family diet that will also apply to kids. We have tried having separate foods but it just does not work. We will take candy from babies!
We tried being vegetarians since I have always struggled with the ethical and moral issues of eating meat. It didn't work. Robert was cranky and my baby had green poop. So we sucked up the cost and began buying meat from Pine View Farms. I am happy about this:)
We finally tried the Paleo diet. I was a little unsure since I've heard that there is no dairy. I have not researched dairy enough to make a decision as to whether or not we should be drinking cow milk. And I cannot deprive growing kids and a baby from milk without researching. I finally got around to it and checked some discussion boards online. To my surprise a lot of Paleo dieters say that it is common sense. If milk bothers you don't drink it. If it doesn't then include it. Awesome!!
So I have slowly been weaning ourselves and the kids off the processed crap. Just this week we are down to the last box of Nutri Grain bars. I have been replacing it all with nuts, fruits, veggies, meat, dairy, and the odd Paleo baked snacks.
It has been one week of clean eating and we feel better already! The kids are more calm. They aren't as hungry all the time and everyone is happier.
I know this isn't the end and we will want to cave but I hope we can keep it up!
I found a fantastic Paleo cookbook at Costco. Everyday Paleo Family Cookbook by Sarah Fragoso.
It includes snacks, dips, soups, slow cooked meals, entrees, lunch kit meals, sides, and quick "Oh my gosh I have nothing in my cupboard" meals. She even gives tips on what sides pair with which entrees and how to get kids involved with cooking.
Rather than just myself cooking and praying my house doesn't go up in flames while the kids are alone has changed! Now everyone is in the kitchen with me. This cookbook paired with my slow cooker, Acti Fry, and food processor has changed how we eat!
Upon cleansing my cupboards I have also noticed that 25 years has taken it's toll and they need some loving...summer project! :s
We tried being vegetarians since I have always struggled with the ethical and moral issues of eating meat. It didn't work. Robert was cranky and my baby had green poop. So we sucked up the cost and began buying meat from Pine View Farms. I am happy about this:)
We finally tried the Paleo diet. I was a little unsure since I've heard that there is no dairy. I have not researched dairy enough to make a decision as to whether or not we should be drinking cow milk. And I cannot deprive growing kids and a baby from milk without researching. I finally got around to it and checked some discussion boards online. To my surprise a lot of Paleo dieters say that it is common sense. If milk bothers you don't drink it. If it doesn't then include it. Awesome!!
So I have slowly been weaning ourselves and the kids off the processed crap. Just this week we are down to the last box of Nutri Grain bars. I have been replacing it all with nuts, fruits, veggies, meat, dairy, and the odd Paleo baked snacks.
It has been one week of clean eating and we feel better already! The kids are more calm. They aren't as hungry all the time and everyone is happier.
I know this isn't the end and we will want to cave but I hope we can keep it up!
I found a fantastic Paleo cookbook at Costco. Everyday Paleo Family Cookbook by Sarah Fragoso.
It includes snacks, dips, soups, slow cooked meals, entrees, lunch kit meals, sides, and quick "Oh my gosh I have nothing in my cupboard" meals. She even gives tips on what sides pair with which entrees and how to get kids involved with cooking.
Rather than just myself cooking and praying my house doesn't go up in flames while the kids are alone has changed! Now everyone is in the kitchen with me. This cookbook paired with my slow cooker, Acti Fry, and food processor has changed how we eat!
Upon cleansing my cupboards I have also noticed that 25 years has taken it's toll and they need some loving...summer project! :s
Friday, March 22, 2013
Big, Dumb, Guard
Yep. Let's face it. Every time we see a jail guard portrayed in the media it is usually as incompetent, lazy, over weight, and not too bright. Or there is the other side in which they are seen as lunatics that beat up and abuse inmates every chance they get. Even our kids get to see jail guards in Disney movies as some sort of animal (usually a rhino) that screws up somehow, is too slow ( both weight wise and mentally) and the bad guy gets away.
I'm a jail guard. Or "jail police" as my kids proudly refer to me. I take a great amount of pride in what I do and the people that I work with. I keep bad guys in jail. I make sure they behave, assist them in receiving programming, help them with their rehabilitation back into society, and provide counselling as well. And while I do all of this I make sure that the jail is functioning well in terms of security. We refer to it as providing dynamic and static security. When I started my job I was bored most of the time. There is a lot to learn and they want you to master the static (doors, cuffs, locks, 24's, charges) before taking on the dynamic (counselling, programming rehabilitation). Now that I have been there 4-5 years I'm busy most of the time. In fact some days I can hardly keep up. I have my own case load of 5 inmates all the while providing for 30 inmates in an 8 hour shift. Oh yeah...and I only have 1 other partner on shift. Yep we're busy!
Oh yeah and in the 8 hours that I'm there I am so busy that I don't actually think about the fact that I am out numbered by inmates every day...so our lives are at risk too. Yep, I am trained to respond to fights, hostage takings, staff assaults, fires, etc. And I do respond...every time!
Did I also mention that we are under funded, over populated, and our building is constantly in need of repair? Sounds like most government buildings (schools, hospitals) so I won't focus on this part.
We also do a great deal of fundraising for the Children's Hospital Foundation. Does the media help us promote that? Nope. That's not nearly as interesting as drugs or sex. I'm riding 130kms in less than three months...on a bike...for the CHF. It happens every year. And we have raised tens of thousands of dollars.
The people I work with are incredibly intelligent, fit, and one of the most interesting and dynamic groups of people I have ever met. Everyone has a different story and different life experiences. I can sit back, watch, and listen for 8 hours no problem.
I chose this job because I have always had an interest in the justice system. I wanted to be a lawyer in high school but soon realized that being a successful lawyer and mom would be a tough balance. I do not want to be a police officer because then you are dealing with inmates...but they have weapons and are either drunk or stoned. Jail guard is a good balance. I get to do casework and security at the same time.
So while I get to study inmates, help inmates, manage our security measures and every now and then put an inmate back in his place, I also get to work with great staff. Saskatoon should be proud of the people that are protecting them!
Somehow I am a woman and a guard and I manage to not deal drugs, or sleep with inmates. Yup. True Story. I have not changed anything about myself for my job. I wear make up, I do my hair, my nails are done...because that's who I am...and still I somehow manage to keep it together. Thank you women who have screwed it up for the rest of us.
I am proud to wear my uniform. I do my job well and I take it seriously. I put my life at risk to protect others and try to improve society. I am proud of my co workers. Keep your heads up! Don't let the media bring you down. Even if no one else is grateful, I am grateful to have you as partners!
Except for Kendra and Tanya Beauchamp...the media can bring them down...whoops! Typo :s
I'm a jail guard. Or "jail police" as my kids proudly refer to me. I take a great amount of pride in what I do and the people that I work with. I keep bad guys in jail. I make sure they behave, assist them in receiving programming, help them with their rehabilitation back into society, and provide counselling as well. And while I do all of this I make sure that the jail is functioning well in terms of security. We refer to it as providing dynamic and static security. When I started my job I was bored most of the time. There is a lot to learn and they want you to master the static (doors, cuffs, locks, 24's, charges) before taking on the dynamic (counselling, programming rehabilitation). Now that I have been there 4-5 years I'm busy most of the time. In fact some days I can hardly keep up. I have my own case load of 5 inmates all the while providing for 30 inmates in an 8 hour shift. Oh yeah...and I only have 1 other partner on shift. Yep we're busy!
Oh yeah and in the 8 hours that I'm there I am so busy that I don't actually think about the fact that I am out numbered by inmates every day...so our lives are at risk too. Yep, I am trained to respond to fights, hostage takings, staff assaults, fires, etc. And I do respond...every time!
Did I also mention that we are under funded, over populated, and our building is constantly in need of repair? Sounds like most government buildings (schools, hospitals) so I won't focus on this part.
We also do a great deal of fundraising for the Children's Hospital Foundation. Does the media help us promote that? Nope. That's not nearly as interesting as drugs or sex. I'm riding 130kms in less than three months...on a bike...for the CHF. It happens every year. And we have raised tens of thousands of dollars.
The people I work with are incredibly intelligent, fit, and one of the most interesting and dynamic groups of people I have ever met. Everyone has a different story and different life experiences. I can sit back, watch, and listen for 8 hours no problem.
I chose this job because I have always had an interest in the justice system. I wanted to be a lawyer in high school but soon realized that being a successful lawyer and mom would be a tough balance. I do not want to be a police officer because then you are dealing with inmates...but they have weapons and are either drunk or stoned. Jail guard is a good balance. I get to do casework and security at the same time.
So while I get to study inmates, help inmates, manage our security measures and every now and then put an inmate back in his place, I also get to work with great staff. Saskatoon should be proud of the people that are protecting them!
Somehow I am a woman and a guard and I manage to not deal drugs, or sleep with inmates. Yup. True Story. I have not changed anything about myself for my job. I wear make up, I do my hair, my nails are done...because that's who I am...and still I somehow manage to keep it together. Thank you women who have screwed it up for the rest of us.
I am proud to wear my uniform. I do my job well and I take it seriously. I put my life at risk to protect others and try to improve society. I am proud of my co workers. Keep your heads up! Don't let the media bring you down. Even if no one else is grateful, I am grateful to have you as partners!
Except for Kendra and Tanya Beauchamp...the media can bring them down...whoops! Typo :s
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Adoption Support?!
Since my last post I have found a whole world of support available to us and the kids! Thank you so much for your comments :)
There is an Adoption Support Centre right here in Saskatoon. Here it is in point form as to why it is AWESOME!!
- There are Adoption magazines that come out six times a year that have articles in them specifically for biological parents, adoptive parents, and adopted children. My favorite articles so far are the ones about the emotional stages of development of children and how they are different for adopted children. I feel like they are talking about our kids! It discusses how to treat children based on their emotional age and not their physical age. There was also a pamphlet on the inside for teachers and the differences they ay find in the classroom among adopted youth compared to the other children.
- They have youth groups for adopted youth! This addresses our kids coming home from school and asking where are all the other adopted kids :) They love youth group! It makesthem feel special and it is led by a social worker to help with any issues or questions that may come up during the group.
- They host the Adopt A Walk every year and the money goes to a scholarship program to send a local adopted child to university! Which is great! I have found a charity to send my extra cash ....lol. When I have it :s A family of five is a huge financial wake up call!
- They have parenting groups for adoptive parents and biological parents that have given their children for adoption.
- They have a massive library filled with books for all ages all about adoption. They will even mail books to me for free!
What a huge resource!! We are so excited to use it!!
There is an Adoption Support Centre right here in Saskatoon. Here it is in point form as to why it is AWESOME!!
- There are Adoption magazines that come out six times a year that have articles in them specifically for biological parents, adoptive parents, and adopted children. My favorite articles so far are the ones about the emotional stages of development of children and how they are different for adopted children. I feel like they are talking about our kids! It discusses how to treat children based on their emotional age and not their physical age. There was also a pamphlet on the inside for teachers and the differences they ay find in the classroom among adopted youth compared to the other children.
- They have youth groups for adopted youth! This addresses our kids coming home from school and asking where are all the other adopted kids :) They love youth group! It makesthem feel special and it is led by a social worker to help with any issues or questions that may come up during the group.
- They host the Adopt A Walk every year and the money goes to a scholarship program to send a local adopted child to university! Which is great! I have found a charity to send my extra cash ....lol. When I have it :s A family of five is a huge financial wake up call!
- They have parenting groups for adoptive parents and biological parents that have given their children for adoption.
- They have a massive library filled with books for all ages all about adoption. They will even mail books to me for free!
What a huge resource!! We are so excited to use it!!
Friday, February 1, 2013
I hate you.
I've tried my best to install in my children that the words "love" and "hate" are two powerful words.
I often encourage them to use the words "dislike", and "enjoy" etc. And reserve that word "love" for something or someone that truly deserves it.
Anybody who knows Sagelyne and Hayden know their history. It hasn't been easy for either of them. I pray that life goes well for them and that all the labels that apply to them with their background won't become true i.e. "high risk youth".
Hayden seems like he is making out okay. The school thing has calmed down and he is into a good routine. His biggest issue right now is not getting tired after lunch at school...which is a huge improvement!
Sagelyne was doing really well in the beginning and I feel like things are going backwards. I'm sure this is normal but she has so much attitude, cannot get ready for anything without having to be told 100 times, is so loud and interruptive, I could go on but I feel like she is out of control.
Today was the breaking point. I have been wondering all day what to do with her. What the best plan of action would be. Take away ALL her things? Tell her no TV? That she can't have a sleepover at grandma's this weekend?
And then while I was tidying up the house for the millionth time today I found a note. Not in her diary or anything...just a random piece of paper. Scribbled all over it was "I hate you Sagelyne Ava Carruthers!"
I wish Hayden could write...
So now what.
How do I punish a girl who hates herself? Who thinks she is ugly? Who thinks that she isn't good at anything? Who thinks that her biological dad doesn't love her? Who constantly questions why her biological mom gave her up?
I know part of the answer is that I cannot let her getaway with her inappropriate behaviour regardless of her background. I don't want her past to ever be a crutch.
But how to teach a girl who has hated herself for 8 years to love herself?
I often encourage them to use the words "dislike", and "enjoy" etc. And reserve that word "love" for something or someone that truly deserves it.
Anybody who knows Sagelyne and Hayden know their history. It hasn't been easy for either of them. I pray that life goes well for them and that all the labels that apply to them with their background won't become true i.e. "high risk youth".
Hayden seems like he is making out okay. The school thing has calmed down and he is into a good routine. His biggest issue right now is not getting tired after lunch at school...which is a huge improvement!
Sagelyne was doing really well in the beginning and I feel like things are going backwards. I'm sure this is normal but she has so much attitude, cannot get ready for anything without having to be told 100 times, is so loud and interruptive, I could go on but I feel like she is out of control.
Today was the breaking point. I have been wondering all day what to do with her. What the best plan of action would be. Take away ALL her things? Tell her no TV? That she can't have a sleepover at grandma's this weekend?
And then while I was tidying up the house for the millionth time today I found a note. Not in her diary or anything...just a random piece of paper. Scribbled all over it was "I hate you Sagelyne Ava Carruthers!"
I wish Hayden could write...
So now what.
How do I punish a girl who hates herself? Who thinks she is ugly? Who thinks that she isn't good at anything? Who thinks that her biological dad doesn't love her? Who constantly questions why her biological mom gave her up?
I know part of the answer is that I cannot let her getaway with her inappropriate behaviour regardless of her background. I don't want her past to ever be a crutch.
But how to teach a girl who has hated herself for 8 years to love herself?
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Return to Work
It's getting to be that time. I start work February 12th!
I'm kind of looking forward to it because I'll only be working 60% and our family is pitching in to watch the kids. Unfortunately, once you have three kids most moms stop working all together because of daycare costs. But with family helping I can work a bit :)
I'm taking Mon, Wed, Thurs off. And Robert is taking Tues and Thurs off. Thursday's will be nice! We'll both have the day to hang out together! My dad will be taking Fridays off to help out:)
I'm not completely okay with it. I'm happy with the plan but still a little nervous. I feel better about the work part...I thought I had forgotten everything but over the past few days it has all come rushing back to me :) Phewf! I don't really have a job with a lot of room for error.
My supervisor made it so I can work in the same spot I was in before I left on mat leave and he has arranged my schedule so I have a minimum amount of night shifts. I have 1 between Feb and April :) And the 1 that I have is on a Monday night so Robert will be home the next day.
I'm more nervous about coming up with all the tips and tricks I use throughout the day and making sure my dad knows it all. He is fabulous and a natural with babies so deep down I know he'd be completely able without them....but the mom in me needs to leave a huge essay of a note. I'm sure he'll have a good chuckle, but follow it the best he can:) I have the perfect sitter:)
Everyone always seems interested in my schedule going from 0 to 3 kids. Here it the start of what I have to tell my dad...
7am Kids wake up, get dressed, breakfast, pack lunches and back packs, free time...in that order.
830am School run.
9am Will bottle and nap.
10am Will and Hayden snack.
12pm Lunch.
1pm Will bottle and nap.
2pm Will and Hayden snack.
3pm School run
330pm Back packs and lunch kits emptied, Sage can snack if hungry, go through any homework and paperwork sent home from school
4pm Will bottle
430pm After free time kids can start homework, practice piano, do extra reading, extra math, or chores.
This will keep them busy while you start supper.
5pm Supper time
6pm Will pyjamas and diaper
630pm Will story, song, bottle and sleep.
730pm Sage and Hayden pyjamas, brush teeth, story, and sleep by 8pm! Done!!
Now to add the little tidbits of info :s Poor dad :)
I'm kind of looking forward to it because I'll only be working 60% and our family is pitching in to watch the kids. Unfortunately, once you have three kids most moms stop working all together because of daycare costs. But with family helping I can work a bit :)
I'm taking Mon, Wed, Thurs off. And Robert is taking Tues and Thurs off. Thursday's will be nice! We'll both have the day to hang out together! My dad will be taking Fridays off to help out:)
I'm not completely okay with it. I'm happy with the plan but still a little nervous. I feel better about the work part...I thought I had forgotten everything but over the past few days it has all come rushing back to me :) Phewf! I don't really have a job with a lot of room for error.
My supervisor made it so I can work in the same spot I was in before I left on mat leave and he has arranged my schedule so I have a minimum amount of night shifts. I have 1 between Feb and April :) And the 1 that I have is on a Monday night so Robert will be home the next day.
I'm more nervous about coming up with all the tips and tricks I use throughout the day and making sure my dad knows it all. He is fabulous and a natural with babies so deep down I know he'd be completely able without them....but the mom in me needs to leave a huge essay of a note. I'm sure he'll have a good chuckle, but follow it the best he can:) I have the perfect sitter:)
Everyone always seems interested in my schedule going from 0 to 3 kids. Here it the start of what I have to tell my dad...
7am Kids wake up, get dressed, breakfast, pack lunches and back packs, free time...in that order.
830am School run.
9am Will bottle and nap.
10am Will and Hayden snack.
12pm Lunch.
1pm Will bottle and nap.
2pm Will and Hayden snack.
3pm School run
330pm Back packs and lunch kits emptied, Sage can snack if hungry, go through any homework and paperwork sent home from school
4pm Will bottle
430pm After free time kids can start homework, practice piano, do extra reading, extra math, or chores.
This will keep them busy while you start supper.
5pm Supper time
6pm Will pyjamas and diaper
630pm Will story, song, bottle and sleep.
730pm Sage and Hayden pyjamas, brush teeth, story, and sleep by 8pm! Done!!
Now to add the little tidbits of info :s Poor dad :)
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Diaper Bag....Check!
I have been pretty good about not requiring a diaper bag. Really...I had my purse stuffed full of everything Will could possibly need when he was a newborn and didn't use any of it when we were out and about.
What bothered me more was having a purse bursting with unorganization and things that were never used. So I became quite good at being a light traveller. Diapers, Wipes, changing pad, nursing cover.
Then Will got older and a bit more demanding...Diapers, wipes, changing pad, bottles, snacks, toys...And then we added two more kids to the mix. They are always asking me to carry something ;)
So...now I needed a diaper bag. Which is kind of exciting! I thought I would want one that looks like a normal purse but when I got to looking I didn't. I went to my IT store Cravings and found a Skip Hop one that I had been eyeing up for $90. Which isn't bad for a diaper bag from Cravings. I decided I would leave it and if I was still thinking about it a week later I would buy it.
Then we stopped at Winners and found the same bag for $49!! I still left it behind to think about it. After Christmas I was back at Winners. All the diaper bags were gone except for the one I wanted!! I took it as a sign and grabbed the last one :)
Here she is...I love it the print!! Fun, and trendy and makes me feel like showing off that I'm a mom! Look at my bag!!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Life Changer 2
Sorry....This is a long one. But a great read that completely applied to me at the time!
Will and I made it to 9 months before I could give myself permission to stop breastfeeding. I slowly weaned him and we still nurse at night. I so agree that I have a special bond with Will...but not because of breastfeeding. It's also upsetting that there are some people that I have not told that I've weaned him because of what they may think.
This blog helped so much in allowing myself to realize that I can do what is best for Will and myself without needing permission from everyone else :)
Breast is NOT always best
Note: I'd like to refer everyone to a post I wrote a couple of months ago about the fact that there ARE antidepressants you can take while breastfeeding.
In today’s society, there is a HUGE push towards promoting breastfeeding for babies. The phrase/idea that “Breast is always best” gets thrown around a lot. We say things like “Women who don’t breastfeed are selfish” or “If she cared about her baby, she would breastfeed” or “When I have a patient who chooses not to breastfeed, I walk out of the room muttering ‘Selfish bitch’ under my breath and I hope her uterus falls out”. And yes, I have heard/seen ALL of these things said, the latter was actually by a nurse/lactation educator who was “venting” on a Facebook group). All of these phrases are tossed about in the interests of promoting the health of the new mothers and babies, we are passionate about their health, but we don’t really think about the effect that our passion and our well-intentioned phrases/attitudes and militant campaigns can have on the health of those we say we care about. The saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” applies all too well.
In today’s society, there is a HUGE push towards promoting breastfeeding for babies. The phrase/idea that “Breast is always best” gets thrown around a lot. We say things like “Women who don’t breastfeed are selfish” or “If she cared about her baby, she would breastfeed” or “When I have a patient who chooses not to breastfeed, I walk out of the room muttering ‘Selfish bitch’ under my breath and I hope her uterus falls out”. And yes, I have heard/seen ALL of these things said, the latter was actually by a nurse/lactation educator who was “venting” on a Facebook group). All of these phrases are tossed about in the interests of promoting the health of the new mothers and babies, we are passionate about their health, but we don’t really think about the effect that our passion and our well-intentioned phrases/attitudes and militant campaigns can have on the health of those we say we care about. The saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” applies all too well.
Now, before I go any farther, let me say that I am a HUGE supporter of breastfeeding. I breastfed my first until she was three months old and only stopped because I had to go on antidepressants to treat my PostPartum Depression. I had every intention before that of nursing her as long as she wanted to. I breastfed my second until she weaned herself at 13 months old; that was through the first and most of the second trimester of my current (third) pregnancy. She weaned HERSELF. Now granted, I was just about ready to start weaning her because nursing a child with teeth who used my poor breast as her teething ring was decidedly uncomfortable (especially since they were more tender than normal thanks to pregnancy) and because nursing plus pregnancy was taking a toll on me. But, she ended up weaning herself without any action on my part and I don’t regret one second of letting her nurse for that long and/or through that much of my pregnancy. When I was planning on going back to work (before the Army moved us away from my job), I had planned on pumping. I nurse in public, with or without a cover (and yes, I am still discreet and modest if I am nursing without a cover; you’re probably going to see more boob/cleavange/skin in a Victoria’s Secret ad, at the pool or beach, or even just glancing at someone in anything other than a turtleneck than when I nurse). I don’t think women should feel like they have to go to the restaurant bathroom to breastfeed (how about you take your dinner in there to eat first before suggesting I make my baby eat in a public restroom). I fully believe that there are health benefits to both mother and baby that can only be obtained through nursing/pumping, and that those benefits still occur when nursing beyond the first year. I wish that more pediatricians would truly support mothers who breastfeed instead of being so quick to throw formula samples at them and tell them they need to supplement with formula (no, not all doctors do this, but I personally have known doctors who did, and women whose doctors did this, and it sabotaged their nursing efforts).
Now that we have established that I am very much pro-breastfeeding, let’s establish something else: breast is not always best.
Let that sink in for a second. Breast. Is. Not. Always. Best.
The goal of the “Breast is best” movement is supposed to be promoting the health and well-being of both mother and baby, but what too many breastfeeding advocates who espouse this mindset and embrace this saying fail to take into account is that the health and well-being of mom and babe includes more than just physical health, it also includes mental and emotional health, both of which can be influenced by the decisions a new mother makes (or feels pressured to make) regarding or revolving round breastfeeding.
“Breast is always best” can - and often does – cause a new mother to feel that if she feeds her baby formula instead of breast-milk, she is doing wrong by them. It can cause a huge amount of guilt and a great deal of pressure to continue breastfeeding her baby, no matter what. This can cause her to feel that she cannot (and/or should not) seek help for PPD. It can also cause a huge amount of unnecessary guilt if she does get treatment and has to stop nursing her baby. It did in me.
One of the reasons why I put off seeking help for my PPD more actively until the night it got to a crisis point was because I felt that if I got help, I would surely be put on medication that would mean I had to stop nursing, and I couldn’t do that because breast is best. Once I did get help, I ended up having to take Lexapro and, sure enough, I had to stop nursing my daughter because the medication was not something that was safe for her to get through my breast-milk. I can’t even describe how much guilt I felt over this. I already felt a lot of guilt and felt like a failure just over having PPD and being hospitalized in the first place. I felt that it made me less of a woman and that I was not the mother I should have been, that if I were a better woman and better mother I would have been able to “shake it off”. The additional guilt I felt over having to give my baby a food source that was “sub-par” and was clearly less than the best for her made it that much harder to deal with the emotional and mental turmoil I was already fighting.
What I have come to realize since then is that what is truly best for my baby is for me to be in good health and for me to take care of myself, and that most certainly includes doing what I need to do to take care of my mental health. If a new mom has PPD, it’s not in anyone’s best interests for her to ignore it and continue breastfeeding at the detriment of her mental health all in the name of “breast is best”. It can actually have long-term negative effects on her, her baby, and her whole family if she forces herself to continue breastfeeding at the expense of seeking treatment for a legitimate medical issue.
This does not just extend to women who are struggling with a PostPartum Mood Disorder. Some women, for whatever reasons of their own, don’t want to breastfeed or don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding. And you know what? That’s okay. As with everything else surrounding non-life threatening parenting decisions, as long as they are making a well-informed and educated decision, that’s perfectly acceptable. What is NOT acceptable is to try to bully, badger, and guilt them into breastfeeding anyways. Here’s the deal: if a woman breastfeeds despite a strong desire not to, it CAN cause trouble bonding and cause her to feel resentment towards her baby and herself. As with a mother who breastfeeds at the expense of seeking medical treatment for a PPMD, this can cause lasting negative effects for her, her baby, and her entire family.
I understand that those who push so hard for breastfeeding are for the most part (I won’t speak for everyone) just trying to make sure that new moms and their babies are taken care of and educated. I commend that, I really do. But we as a breastfeeding community have got to realize that our militant efforts are doing the exact opposite of what we are trying for, we are hurting fragile women and children. Being militant is getting us nowhere good, it is only giving us a reputation for being stubborn (in a bad way), obnoxious, and putting down those who choose/feel differently than we do. We talk long and loud about how judgmental people are of us when we choose to breastfeed in public, and then we turn around and do the same thing in judging women who choose not to breastfeed at all.
The choice of how to best care for and feed our babies belongs to each of us and it is a deeply personal decision. We need to respect that and respect that there are women who, for whatever reason of their own, are going to choose to give their babies formula. We need to realize how much unnecessary guilt we are piling on these women and STOP IT. The last thing a mother with PostPartum Depression needs on top of all the negative emotions and thoughts she’s having because of her PPD is to also feel guilty about switching her child to formula. It can do irreparable damage to her to feel this way. I don’t know any breastfeeding advocates who intentionally set out to make women like me feel bad but the sad truth is that it does.
So please, the next time you’re about to start off about how “Breast is always best” and “Women who don’t breastfeed are selfish”, don’t. If your goal is education, educate (gently). Talk about the studies and facts showing the health benefits to both a nursing mother and her baby, but leave the platitudes and catch-phrases where they belong: unspoken. And don’t just be careful with your words, make sure your demeanor and attitude are also non-judgmental.
Breast is not always best. What is always best is for a mother to feel empowered, able, and confident in making decisions that she feels will best take care of her, her baby, and her family. What is always best is for a baby to be fed, nurtured, loved, and cared for. And you know what? Sometimes, that’s going to mean choosing formula over breast-milk.
Life Changer 1
I've been meaning to post a couple articles that were quite life changing for Will and I. When I first started to feel like something was wrong I scoured the internet for information regarding breastfeeding and postpartum depression. Everything I found suggested that breastfeeding would only ease depression over time. Even my doctor and midwife swore that breastfeeding would make our relationship better...not worse. I even got second opinions!
This article helped so much!!
Breast-feeding may be natural but that doesn’t mean it comes easily to every new mom. A new study in the August edition of the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology finds that women who struggle to breast-feed in the first two weeks after giving birth are more prone to postpartum depression.
The study was not able to determine whether depressed moms were more likely to have trouble breast-feeding or whether difficulty breast-feeding sparked depression, but the paper’s authors, from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (UNC), recommend a two-pronged holistic approach: screen women with breast-feeding difficulties for depression and assess how breast-feeding is going for depressed mothers.
“Clearly all women who have pain breast-feeding are not depressed, but the message for clinicians is to look not just at baby’s mouth and the boob but to also look at mom’s brain,” says Dr. Alison Stuebe, the study’s senior author and an assistant professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology in the UNC School of Medicine. “The mind has to be part of the evaluation.”
To reach their conclusions, the researchers relied on data from 2,586 women in the government-funded Infant Feeding and Practices Study II, which assessed issues of feeding and depression. Nine percent of the women fell into the category of “major depression.”
Women who reported dissatisfaction with breast-feeding early on were 42% more likely to have postpartum depression two months after delivery compared with women who enjoyed breast-feeding. Mothers who initially experienced severe breast pain initially and at two weeks postpartum were twice as likely to be depressed as pain-free women. Depression, in general, has been linked to increased pain sensitivity, which may explain why depressed women have more pain while breast-feeding.
The association is unlikely to be coincidental. In a pilot study Stuebe is conducting, she’s found that new moms who report feeling anxious have lower levels of oxytocin — the feel-good hormone that courses through the body while nursing — during feeding. “Is there something hormonal in women who are depressed that makes breast-feeding less enjoyable?” she says.
Stuebe first began wondering about a possible correlation when she was a medical resident in Boston. Lactation consultants in the community would tell her that patients who needed help breast-feeding frequently seemed depressed. When she came to UNC, she suggested administering the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, a 10-question screen that is widely used to gauge depression in new mothers, to women who had problems breast-feeding. (The questions include: “I have been able to laugh and see the funny side of things” and “I have been so unhappy that I have been crying.”) She found an “impressive” number of women were both depressed and having difficulty breast-feeding.
Though women are urged to breast-feed for the health benefits it conveys to both mom and baby, a single-minded focus on nursing as the only acceptable choice — without the accompanying support necessary for breast-feeding success — may be putting too much pressure on some mothers.
“We have seen a really positive shift in the attitude of public-health experts away from ‘mothers have to breast-feed, or else’ to ‘we need systems to support mothers in their breast-feeding goals,’” says Stuebe. In January, the U.S. Surgeon General issued a Call to Action to Support Breastfeeding that urged communities, relatives, employers and health providers to pitch in to help women attain their breast-feeding goals.
In fact, wrote Stuebe earlier this year in a blog for the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine, it’s time to recognize that breast is not necessarily best for every woman:
We should not change the public health message that breast-feeding is the physiologic norm. Soft-pedaling medical advice because we might hurt someone’s feelings is patronizing at best, and unethical at worst. Further, backing away from evidence-based medical recommendations for 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding gives policy makers permission to cut back support for mothers and families.In so many cases, a terrible breast-feeding experience is the downstream effect of subpar maternity care, unsupportive family and friends, poor medical advice and unrealistic expectations of motherhood.But there is a major difference between a public health message on a billboard and a conversation between a struggling mother and her medical provider.In routine care, we need to ask each mother how she feels about how feeding is going, and then we need to take time to listen to her response. And if, for this mother, and this baby, extracting milk and delivering it to her infant have overshadowed all other aspects of their relationship, it may be that exclusive breast-feeding is not best for them – in fact, it may not even be good for them.
Says Stuebe: “A lot of the pain that women experience with breast-feeding reflects the now-outdated concept that moms have to power through, no matter what. It is helpful to have a more honest, realistic expectation of motherhood as a whole.”
Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/05/do-depression-and-difficulty-breast-feeding-go-hand-in-hand/#ixzz2J1PeOFah
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Ideas?!
Robert's birthday is approaching fast!
Any ideas on gifts?? Anyone??
He says he doesn't need anything, and doesn't have any ideas for what he wants:s
The kids want to buy him earrings...despite his lack of piercings...
The only idea I've had is to take him to see The Hobbit.
He's a tough one...
Any ideas on gifts?? Anyone??
He says he doesn't need anything, and doesn't have any ideas for what he wants:s
The kids want to buy him earrings...despite his lack of piercings...
The only idea I've had is to take him to see The Hobbit.
He's a tough one...
Monday, January 7, 2013
New Tunes
I went on an iTunes downloading spree while laying in bed the other night. I made some new discoveries and stuck with some old favorites.
1. Mumford and Sons - Babel
2. Florence + The Machine - Ceremonials
3. Of Monsters and Men - My Head is an Animal
4. Whitehorse - The Fate of the World Depends on This Kiss
5. The Lumineers - The Lumineers
I lucked out and am enjoying all my purchases!
1. Mumford and Sons - Babel
2. Florence + The Machine - Ceremonials
3. Of Monsters and Men - My Head is an Animal
4. Whitehorse - The Fate of the World Depends on This Kiss
5. The Lumineers - The Lumineers
I lucked out and am enjoying all my purchases!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Sold!
I've been wondering what to do with my wedding dress for a long time!
I don't like objects sitting in my house with no purpose. Even if I loved it and it's pretty to look at:) I also don't think it's healthy to attach emotions to inanimate objects. Especially when the day was about Robert and I...not my dress.
But still...even knowing these things about myself...I just could not figure out what I wanted to do with it. So it sat in my closet and I would sigh and think about our special day and admire my dress.
I thought about turning it into a quilt. But could you imagine having to clean it?!
I listed it on kijiji a coupe days ago and to my surprise someone wanted to come see it after it had only been posted for an hour! She came by last night with her maid of honor to try it on. And she looked gorgeous!!! It made me feel so good to see it go to someone who loved it as much as I did. I haven't had any regrets or thought about the emptiness in my closet once (like I feared I would).
I know to some it's just a dress...but I'm happy that I took my time in deciding what to do. It took years! Even last night I was afraid I might tell her that I couldn't let her have it :s Until I met her:)
I'm proud of myself and feel good!
I don't like objects sitting in my house with no purpose. Even if I loved it and it's pretty to look at:) I also don't think it's healthy to attach emotions to inanimate objects. Especially when the day was about Robert and I...not my dress.
But still...even knowing these things about myself...I just could not figure out what I wanted to do with it. So it sat in my closet and I would sigh and think about our special day and admire my dress.
I thought about turning it into a quilt. But could you imagine having to clean it?!
I listed it on kijiji a coupe days ago and to my surprise someone wanted to come see it after it had only been posted for an hour! She came by last night with her maid of honor to try it on. And she looked gorgeous!!! It made me feel so good to see it go to someone who loved it as much as I did. I haven't had any regrets or thought about the emptiness in my closet once (like I feared I would).
I know to some it's just a dress...but I'm happy that I took my time in deciding what to do. It took years! Even last night I was afraid I might tell her that I couldn't let her have it :s Until I met her:)
I'm proud of myself and feel good!
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