Sh*t Hayden Says #263

You know that day we just had that was damn near +40?  I got home from work, everyone was cranky and miserable so Robert and I decided to take everyone to a movie and have popcorn for supper.  Yesss!

On the way home we decided to stop at Superstore to stock up on snacks.  We were low on everything.

The theatre was only remotely cooler than our house so aside from the entertainment it wasn't that much better.  And I think most of you know of my Superstore Outburst of 2012.  So we were all lazy and feeling crummy and I didn't want to brave the hell that is Superstore by myself so I made everyone come with me to bask in my misery.

Turns out we should have just hung out in the freezer section for a couple of hours!  It was great!

As we were on our way out we came to an intersection with a very lady like transvestite.  Honestly, she made me feel like a man.  She walked better than me, had better posture, and had a calm and delightful look upon her face while browsing the aisles.  The only thing she missed was her midnight shadow.  I think she forgot to shave her face which may be equivalent to me forgetting to shave my legs?  An honest and soon to be hilarious mistake.

I knew what was coming in my head.  In an instant I had the whole thing pictured.  Beginning to end.

I already had my bitchy line of "Excuse for not teaching my six year old about trannies just yet!"  (Totally inappropriate and I'm so glad it didn't come to that but nobody be messin' with my kids girlfriend!)

Robert and I noticed and kept moving along...really who cares.  Hayden was a different story.  Hayden stopped dead in his tracks.  The look of complete bewilderment came over his face...jaw hanging and everything.  I prepared myself for the worst when he inserted his popsicle (yes I feed my kids food before I buy it..it's about survival people!) back into his mouth and moved on.

Phewff!!  Thank goodness!!  In the clear.

Hayden wasn't right though for the rest of the night.  Unusually quiet, not interested in playing.  Just seemed as though he was pondering.  I thought that today would be the day I had to explain this.  Totally off guard.  No idea what to say or how to explain it other than "to each their own" and "does not affect my life in anyway".  Which we all know that to a six year old loaded with questions these answers would not cut it.

The dreaded bed time came...the time when kids want to talk.  Hayden got all into his pj's and went to brush his teeth.  I was waiting for him in his room...prepping for some sort of discussion.

Hayden burst out of the bathroom, hitting the door on the wall behind him.  Ran into his room, jumped onto the bed, smacked me and yelled "Oh my god mom!  That man wants a Regina!!"

Thank Goodness he figured it out!!  

My only reply that night was "Don't say Oh my god...and yes...you're right."